


Becoming Zuko: A Prince's Demise

by ML8991, ystv



Series: The Metamorphosis of a Prince [2]
Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Friendship, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Prisoner of War, Torture, angst with a happy ending ?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-08
Updated: 2021-02-22
Packaged: 2021-03-03 19:01:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 5
Words: 29,557
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24590470
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ML8991/pseuds/ML8991, https://archiveofourown.org/users/ystv/pseuds/ystv
Summary: Book 2: Earth: After the Gaang escaped from Crown Princess Azula's clutches with the help of Prince Iroh, Dragon of the West, the team seeks out a town to recuperate. Toph talks to a mistreated captive at the market square. As the truth comes out, it becomes increasingly obvious that the maxim "It is said to keep your friends close, but your enemies closer" runs true. With Exiled Prince Zuko unwittingly taken in by the Avatar and his companions, his understanding of the war, and the ways people have been afflicted by it, change forever. But will he heed his mothers words, and remember who he truly is?  A tale of a fall, and a hard won redemption.Welcome to Part 2 of Metamorphosis of a Prince, follow us as Prince Zuko changes once more.Just to mention: The Prequel to this is an optional read. As it is complementary backstory, reading it is NOT required to understand this story.A fair warning for those interested, though, it is quite a bit darker than this in both description and content, read the trigger warnings and the introductionary note there before you read it.
Relationships: The Gaang & Zuko (Avatar)
Series: The Metamorphosis of a Prince [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1542379
Comments: 143
Kudos: 238





	1. On the Market Square

__

_From the deepest of falls_

_Still they may rise;_

_But if one is to break free_

_The other must face its demise._

__

_A prince’s standing means more_

_Than a mere boy in chains,_

_For blood not only rules..._

_It also stains._

__

_Beneath arch and open sky,_

_From highest plazas to lowest market squares,_

_To become who you should be,_

_You must forfeit all that you were._

__

_So fight, shed your skin,_

_For standing and identity are not the same thing._

_To see is to believe;_

_To know is to understand._

__

_Now, be a dragon,_

_Find yourself a home;_

_And take back the place_

_Carved out for you._

__

_Seek that which you have lost,_

_And into open arms you shall be received._

_Let the ones you have found_

_Help you to rise and become as one._

* * *

“The market is just up ahead" Toph informed Sokka when they entered the Earth Kingdom town. One could already hear the noise of the flourishing square. The town clearly was not touched by the Fire Nation too heavily yet. It was a semi-important trading centre as far as Toph had informed him and he noticed that the buildings were of neat stone structures as they walked through the main street.

Soon, they saw the first stands and the shouting of the merchants praising their goods got ever louder. Toph thoroughly enjoyed her freedom. According to the shouts, they seemed to have gotten into the fabric trading section.

“So, what do we need again?" Toph asked.

Sokka was already looking around for the food stands, but looking ahead, he could only make out something elevated in the square center though. “Well, we need to get Aang some new clothes, Katara really wants a new water pouch, but we need food first of all. And Katara said to save money, so we should start with that and keep the shopping to a minimum, so no water pouch for Katara. Do you know where they are?"

“The food stands? Yep, straight through, to the left” Toph replied. They went through the alleys, past the streams of people, and made it towards the centre of the market. Sokka looked up to see the elevated place turn out to be somewhat of a platform with a stone arch. He saw that someone was standing below. His vision was limited due to their standpoint though, as the arch blocked the sight. Curiously he watched out as they went around it. Some people were pointing at it, murmuring in hushed, angry, tones. Soon, he could see more of the stone structure and also of the person in between. Sokka realized now that he was shackled to the arch, his back full of welts and coated in dust and sweat. Disgusted, he turned away and nudged Toph to hurry.

“So, Katara said we need bread, butter, vegetables and fruits, some grain and I say we need meat, too. So, where to start?"

“Over there!" Toph said and methodically lead Sokka through the stands, getting all they needed. Finally they reappeared at the center at a different angle and Sokka stared at the stone arch again, or rather at the man below: He wasn't really standing anymore, but he wasn't quite kneeling either. Realizing that the chains that connected his shackled hands to the arch above were too short for kneeling, he looked closer.

The man had short hair that looked like it had at one time been dark, but it was coated in dust and grime and whatever else, making it impossible to tell its true colour. His arms, coated in trails of blood and dirt, were stretched to the maximum that the chains allowed, as to give his legs some relief from standing continuously. He wore no shirt and his trousers were in rags from the knees down. Sokka wondered what the man had done to be treated like this. He further observed him, searching for the man’s face that was partially covered due to him leaning against one of his arms. The part he saw looked gaunt, but to surprise Sokka even more, it looked young. This man was just at the edge of manhood, but not quite there yet.

"Are you done staring?" Toph said, shaking him out of his frozen state.

Sokka made unmanly noises, then harrumphed: "eh, yeah. What's this supposed to be?"

"Don't know, but it seems that he is Fire Nation, and the town folks seems to have quite a grudge against him. No clue if it is him or just his nationality."

Now he heard some shouts, too. A man had walked up to the podium and openly slapped the boy, hissing something to him maliciously. The boy showed no reaction. The man grabbed him by his hair and angrily forced his head down, then walked away.

"Oh come on, Snoozles, we still need to find a room for us and Twinkletoes, and don't you dare pulling the avatar one again, I'm been searched for by my parents! We will pay for the rooms like normal people."

"Alright alright, we still need a new set of clothes for Aang, though." They went back to the fabric section and searched for something orange-yellow. They got something quickly enough.

"Let's find something at the edge of town, so we can leave quickly and quietly." Sokka said. "See anything?"

"Hmm, yep. Over there." She pointed towards the direction they had come from, then grimaced: "Eew,… the captive just wet his pants."

Sokka first just looked at Toph a bit dumbfounded. Then he started laughing.

"Who is staring now?"

"Ha ha, very funny! Sorry for not being able to _not see_ when I close my eyes."

They soon reached the inn and got a room for them to stay in. Then they went back to get the others.

Aang was walking carefully, trying to keep the limping at a minimum as to not jostle his still mending ribs too much. To have bruised these bones was bothering him quite a bit, as it impaired his airbending a lot. As soon as they were in the room he claimed a bed and sank onto it exhausted. Katara immediately sank down beside him to take a look once more.

She was glad that Iroh's wounds hadn't been as severe as Aang’s after fighting Azula in that abandoned village. He had helped them and Katara would have felt obligated to nurse him back to health because of it. But Iroh had left them quite soon after to search for his missing nephew again, telling them he had a bad feeling about him. Katara couldn't care less about Zuko after what he'd done to her at the North Pole, but she pitied Iroh for having such an ungrateful nephew. Everyone lay down for a rest, exhausted after the hours of walking. They hadn't let Appa carry them all again. They had tried to keep out of sight after the most recent trials.

A good smell woke them up a few hours later: feeling restless, Katara had cooked. They gladly ate the newly bought food, the new and fresh variety was a welcome respite from from the rations they had been eating from lately. Rejuvenated Toph tiptoed away, she felt like exploring the city.

00000

Zuko grit his teeth, the hit had stung on his sunburned face. The dirt accumulated there didn’t help. It felt like sandpaper against the inflamed skin every time something, anything, touched him. Luckily the offender had merely been passing by, not drawing things out into a beating. Everything hurt. He was tired, the hunger and what was happening around him, together with the ever present pain made it hard to nod off. Ironically, he couldn't feel his hands anymore, his wrists however, were an entirely different story, they were raw and bloody, burned from the metal encasing his wrist heating up in the glaring sun. It had heated past the level his skin could tolerate, maybe two days ago? He wasn’t sure, time was blurring together. He just knew that as he lost his grasp on firebending, his comprehension of the world started to slip also. Exhausted, he was dangling from his shackles. Soon, he should be getting back to his feet, _he should,_ to bring some relief to his burning wrists, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it just yet.

He cursed the ever-humming flies who constantly gathered around him. His skin was itching badly, but bound as he was he could do nothing about it. He thought back to when he had thought it bad while traveling alone, not finding water. Or on the raft with uncle. It hadn’t been pleasurable, yes, but this surpassed nearly all the trials he'd gone through. All the humiliation, all the pain, thirst, hunger. Had he still had the energy, he might have screamed, but the past weeks had sucked all life out of him. He wasn't even sure he still wanted to live. He’d learned his lesson already, hadn't he?! The boy Lee… He had learned that people were incredibly judgmental. He licked his cracked lips, it didn't help of course, it was just a habit to draw comfort from.

Another rotten fruit hit his neck. He flinched. Though he smelled the alcohol and distinct smell of putridity, he didn’t have the energy to be disgusted anymore. He just waited for the burning sensation, caused by the festered fruit, to pass. Zuko longed for the relative peace the nightfall brought, though he didn’t dare to think about what might happen after darkness had set in.

He took another deep breath and tried staggering to his feet again. The chains held him in place; held his arms barely over his head, allowing him to stand on his own, but not to sit or kneel down. He supposed it was better than only barely standing on the tips of one’s toes like he had once seen back home, in the Fire Nation, but it was still cruel. The shackles around his wrists were linked together so closely that he couldn’t even get a grab at his chains to support himself. He couldn’t twist his wrists towards the chain in any useful way for his fingers to get a good hold of it. It meant that he was either standing on his own, or else the full weight of his body would pull on his wrists and cause the metal to cut into his skin deeply. Of course his legs were shackled too, but those bonds weren't nearly as bad.

He heard the words still:

_"So this is the proud prince of the Fire Nation? Laughable! You're nothing, a traitor, what made you think you're welcome here?…"_ He’d screamed and fought so much that they’d gagged him, so he just stared defiantly at the time. How proud he'd been. _"… Well, I know exactly what to do with you. You're the ideal tool to keep the village nice and calm. With you, they will have a place to put their grudge against the Fire Nation, and I’ll have my peace."_ They had led him away after that, put him into a cold cell.

How he'd wished for the sun then, his source of power…  
Now it was roasting him alive every day. His powers long gone d ue to exhaustion.  
How ironic.

He was apathetic. Just focusing on the next breath. Patient... At least he'd get out of this with better control.

Getting up on his feet again was a pain. And also an utterly humiliating exercise. His bladder had been bothering him for hours already, and he knew they wouldn't let him down until sunset, but it didn't keep him from trying. He had to keep fighting. But staggering to his feet again tipped over the vat, he lost control. Grinding his teeth he stood there, publicly displayed, wetting his pants. He wasn't even sure he cared anymore, it was far from the first time. He was so deep in shit, how would he ever get out of this?

Was Uncle searching for him? He hadn't seen him in over a month. Zuko felt alone like never before. Every laugh, a painful stab at his wounded pride: He swore to never be ungrateful of living arrangements again, as long as it didn't mean _this_. He stretched his fingers. As the weeks had gone by, they had become thin and fragile looking. He shook his wrists a tiny bit, ignoring the shooting pain it caused. He knew he had dust and blood caked in his hair from leaning against his arms, but he couldn't bring himself to care. There was dirt and dust everywhere, his lacerations were caked with it. But as long as no bender choked him like that soldier had done he would be okay. He just waited for the evening to come and bring some relief from the burning sun; for the merchants to start pack up their stuff and the whole place to become quiet. Darkness for his headache and a night soothing his raw sunburn.

00000

Toph silently jumped out of the window to walk down the street. She was itching for a fight and searching for a club to carry it out. She knew the sun was gone, she couldn't feel it’s rays reaching her skin. Now the clubs would slowly fill. She entered the street to the market square, scanning the earth ahead and halting for a moment when she felt some kind of commotion around the arch. Curiously she made her way over, stopping at the entrance of the square. The place was devoid of merchants. Most people had left the streets already, gone home. But she could feel three people ahead. One was stumbling, the other walking behind.

"Come on, faster! I don't have all night" Toph realized that the stumbling person was carrying something. As she walked closer, along the buildings framing the square, she realized that the man bound to the arch was missing. The stumbling person fell into the dust, breathing heavily, she felt his heart pumping erratically.

"Get up!" The person tried to pick themselves up, but crashed again as Toph heard a loud slap and a pained grunt. The guard must have whipped the man with something. "I said get up! It’s a simple thing: collect and dispose of the trash around the market area. How can you be this worthless? Giving you anything to eat really is a waste…. Hmm. I was going to give you a nice slice of bread, but you know what? If you can't carry the trash, you could at least get rid of it another way." The person shivered as they tried to get up once again. The wind had picked up and various smells hit Toph’s nose. She had been able to guess the contents of the basket the man had carried, but now she could smell the rotten fruit and stuff, too.

"Eat!"

"No" The hoarse voice was quiet. The whip thrust down again.

"You will do as I say. You can't win. Don't make it hard for yourself." The voice of the guard had a gained a teasing quality to it.

The kneeling man just shook his head. "Not hungry."

He better hadn't said that, because the guard had grabbed him by the neck and pressed down, towards the basket. "Eat!" 

Shaking, the man finally complied, took some fruit and brought it to his lips. It was clear he was having trouble getting it down. He forced himself to continue even so.

The guard was apparently satisfied. "So, now that you have strengthened up a bit, get up!"

On trembling legs the man finally managed to make his way to the sewer and emptied the basket quickly. Probably nauseous from the bad smell he couldn't hold in what he'd just eaten, though. Just barely did he manage to lean over the sewer opening in time as he threw it all up again. The guard kicked him into the side. That was when Toph realized that his legs were still shackled, hearing the clicking of the chain links.

"Worthless scum" He grabbed the captive on his upper arm and roughly pulled him up, forcing him to stumble along. He might be an enemy of the state, but this guard was making full use of his power over a helpless prisoner. She shook her head at his treatment.

She felt them approaching the stone arch now. The man weakly fought as his wrists were pressed into the shackles once more. Just then he was offered some water which he greedily drank, not caring that someone was holding it to his lips. But all too soon that was taken away again.

"Will save the last bit for after your meal, won't we?"

The prisoner growled and pulled on the shackles holding him in place. The guard pulled out the bread and held it out to the prisoner.

"Come on, take it" he taunted, holding it just barely out of reach. The man growled again.

"You know fully well I can't" The strain on his voice was clearly audible.

"Oh, plain bread isn't good enough for our fine little lord? Excuse me, let me fix that." There was an ugly squishing noise, probably some other rotten fruit. "Here, better?"

"You are disgusting, and if I get the flu here, I’m dead." 

Slap.

"Treat me with respect! After all, I am the one controlling the situation. And don't tell me death wouldn't be welcome in the state you are in. Now eat!" The bread was forcefully held to the prisoner’s lips. He bit and hardly chewed before swallowing and taking another bite. Toph felt it getting harder for him to swallow as time passed, but he finished the bread nonetheless. He kept swallowing even after, probably to get the taste away. The guard took the bowl with the man’s drinking water and washed his hands.

"You bastard! That's my water!"

"Oh, oops… now you surely don't want it, right?" He quickly took it and spilled the contents to his feet.

"Fill it up!" The prisoner’s voice was a mixture between raw anger and desperation.

"You still haven't learned the magic word. _My, my,_ I don't see why I should do anything more for you, My Lord."

" _Please_ wouldn't solve anything. I need that water."

"I don't care, make the next one taking care of you give you some more. Good night, sleep well!"

The mocking tone the guard used got on Toph’s nerves. She felt him faintly run his fingers down the captive’s skin until he growled, shivering. Then the man turned around to leave and just like that, the second guard joined him.

As soon as they were out of sight, the man roared before slumping down. Toph felt him soundlessly sob. She approached slowly, the desire to fight forgotten. He seemed to repeat himself over and over.

"Go away." His voice was rough.

She was surprised he had even noticed her approach. He hadn't looked up.

"You got quite good hearing."

"Leave me alone!" he all but growled.

She ignored it, too curious. He had fire.

"Hey, usually people don't hear me."

"I don't care. Go away." His voice sounded severely sore.

Toph continued ascending and stopped in front of him. "Want water?"

Toph felt him look up.

"Don't play with me."

"I'm not playing" She grabbed the bowl and went over to the well to pump up some. After that she approached him again.

"You want some now?" He stank, but Toph ignored the offending smell in favor of holding up the bowl to his lips. He greedily drank again… once it was empty she lowered the bowl.

"… thanks, I guess." He licked his lips.

"Want more?" He quickly shook his head.

"No."

"Why not?" She asked, not having expected a no.

"Because I don't fancy wet pants,” he hissed, “especially at night. It gets cold out here."

"Alright, alright. Calm down Sparks… So what's your name?"

"You won't leave me alone, will you?"

"Nope, seems too lonely out here."

"I don't need your pity."

"Pfft, I pity no one, I'm merely bored and curious."

The man answered with a bitter chuckle-like sound, then repeated: "Go away"

"That again? Sparks really, get a vocabulary"

"I've been entertainment enough to last a lifetime. Now kindly take your leave, I'm tired."

He leaned his head against his arms again, fully determined to ignore her.

"So what's your name?"

Zuko groaned in desperation. "Can't you read?" he bit out. They had put up a shield about him being the Fire Prince, at the beginning of his stay, it probably still was there, though he couldn’t be sure, he hadn’t seen, well, looked for it since.

"Actually no, can't write either."

The man bit his chapped lips, regarding her with a hard glare. "Say, aren't you a bit young to still be out in the streets alone?"

"Heh, I can hold my own!"

"Really!?" Sarcasm dripped from his hoarse voice.

They were quiet for a while. Toph hesitated, but she felt the need to talk and he was there to listen…

"I ran away from home. My parents were overprotective. Wouldn't believe I could do anything myself."

"You want my pity?"

"Hell, no!"

They returned to silence. She knew the captive was keeping an eye on her, but she didn't let it bother her. She was sitting comfortably on the ground while he still was held in place by the chains.

"Is there something behind me? Your stare is weirding me out." The man finally asked.

"Well sorry, can't really do anything about that. I'm blind." She nonchalantly said, just waiting for the reaction...

"You're what?" Disbelief was in his voice.

"Yep, I'm blind."

"But... how are you able to navigate?"

"My secret!"

"Fine, be that way. Not anything I could do about it, now, can I?!" A bitter chuckle left his throat. They fell into silence again, and once again it was the man who finally broke it with a question.

"How old are you?"

"Thirteen. You?"

"… I'm sixteen"

"Oh..." Toph had not expected the captive to be this young. "Does the Fire Nation always recruit so young?"

"No, it did not. But I haven't been in the loop for a while... It's not like the Earth Kingdom is any better though,” the young man spat. “I've seen them try to recruit a boy for just holding a dagger."

"Hey, I'm not saying we do it right. The war makes everyone weary. Let's not fight over it."

The boy grumbled in response.

"hmm, you might be Fire Nation, but really, you're not so bad. I like you Sparks."

"Yeah, sure, you seem to be the only one around to think that." His voice was bitter once more. Just then, Toph felt a familiar pair of feet approaching from afar.

"Toph? Are you here?"

Sokkas voice carried over clearly, in the calm night air.

"Hmm, seems like I gotta go. Was nice talking to you. Maybe I'll come by again." Toph jumped down from the platform and ran towards Sokka.

"Coming! Snoozles."

What she had missed to notice was the boy's tensing at the call. He remained frozen until he could no longer hear Toph’s soft steps. That voice had belonged to the Avatars companion. He was a hundred percent sure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ystv: Hi there. Three years ago, I started writing this, soon gaining my beta, now co-author, ML8991. It went from my project to our project and with this new version of the first chapter, having a newly added, and heavily discussed intro poem, it finally feels like ours all the way through. You as fans have, and still are, adding a lot to the process with your support and your lovely reviews. It keeps us in high spirits to get through what we planned, even if it’s slow going and challenging. Thank you! With that said, I’ll turn over the word to my awesome co-conspirator:
> 
> ML8991: Well, this doesn’t feel weird at all. Going back to where I first got hooked on the story, like many of you, the fans of this work. Thank you for sticking with us, and it is amazing to start to bring the full story together in one place at long last. We haven’t forgotten what we are still holding out on, don’t worry, and me and ystv have had many hours of fruitful discussion which will hopefully allow the next chapter (from FF.net’s perspective) in the not too distant future. Keep being amazing, and thank you for your amazing and consistent support, it means a lot :D. And for all new people joining us for this odyssey, welcome, I hope you enjoy the ride.
> 
> PS: there’s a spanish translation being made by Rene d’Herblay on FFnet. If you’re interested, go check it out and support her, too. (she may still need to get the edits we did converted into the translation though, so if here are things different or missing, that’s why).


	2. Of Pity and Empathy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ystv: Thank you all for the amazing support! It took a while to revise this chapter. Enjoy!
> 
> ML8991: It has been amazing to see the surge of support from updating the posting over on AO3, and to all previous followers thank you for sticking with us. Chapter 12 (for those playing the long game over on FF.net) is nearly done (sorry on my end for how long it is taking, it is going to be a heavy chapter and is the marking of big character moments for our boy Zuko. For those of you just joining on AO3, welcome, sit back and enjoy the ride, there is much more to come.

Zuko had not slept well. In fact, it felt like he hadn't slept much at all. The long hours of being shackled to the arch in the empty market square did not promote sleeping through the night. It was a continuous cycle of falling asleep and being roused awake, but he knew that he had slept more than he thought, as he could track the time somewhat with the changing of the moon’s position. More than ever, he wished to be safely at home. However, being considered a traitor of his nation and a fugitive, he knew that dream was out of reach more than ever before.

His body had grown quite numb to the cold. He shivered even so. Only when the wind caressed his bare skin, he could feel the increasingly frigid temperature. He drew in another deep breath, on the cusp of tears. Angry at himself for being weak, he forced them back again.

He wondered if they'd let him down this morning or if he'd be hanging on these chains until evening came again. He looked up and saw that the sun was barely over the edge of the horizon and the streets before him were abandoned, something he appreciated. He couldn't help to hope, but at the same dread, to be let down from the chains for a few minutes. His body hurt all over, especially the wrists, and hanging from these chains was exhausting. He longed to just lay down, even though he knew from experience that moving his arms, especially after such a long time of having them up, would send pain through his body far worse than the whip.

Also, those few minutes of not being shackled to the arch gave him a vague idea of how weak he was getting. It was something he had feared, as he still hadn't come up with any other ideas to get out of his predicament. He knew, he shouldn't give up hope.

_He hadn't!_

But it was getting difficult to hold onto such ideals, it was hard enough trying to hold his bladder when he knew they might not even let him down in the evening… He didn't dare to think of the Avatar's physical closeness, either. He hadn't been prepared to meet them here. He hadn't thought of meeting anyone here, but he hadn't thought the situation could get much worse, yet it always seemed to do just that… And now he was acutely aware of the possibility that Azula could show up, and he sincerely hoped the Avatar wouldn't lead her here. He sincerely hoped the Avatar and his group wouldn’t show up on the market square again, either for that matter.

To be seen like this, by the person he'd hunted for the past year, by people he knew. It would be utterly humiliating. Why couldn't it just be Uncle? He would be able to get him out somehow, Zuko was sure of it. Uncle always seemed to have a trick up his sleeve.

So he hung there, shackles digging painfully into his wrists, glaring at the sun rays that would surely make his day hell; his source of power, failing to help him once again. At some point he screamed out his frustrations, regretting the action just a moment later… He hadn’t been able to think ahead lately. He hadn’t considered how sore and sandpaper dry his throat was. And honestly, he was surprised that he still had tears, his eyes burned, irritated by dust and too much sun, if not the never ending dryness as well. After all, he couldn't even rub them, he could do exactly nothing about anything. He could only be there and observe. Willingly or not. And so he would listen to the birds waking up and singing their songs while the sun slowly made its way above the horizon.

The guard came when the first couple of the market stalls were already there, and more still being set up. The square was slowly filling with activity. The guard was alone, without backup, so Zuko knew he wouldn't be let down. He was almost mad at himself for hoping and keeping his bladder's contents in, he'd hoped to get a round of bathroom time without having to involve his only piece of clothing. By now, he didn’t care so much about having to expose himself to take a leak anymore, it was still better than having to wet his pants. Zuko looked up to see which guard was tending to him. Not one of the nicest, but none of the worst either. Yeah, positive thinking…

Zuko had expected the hit, but nonetheless it left him wheezing: trying to curl into himself, but unable to. He couldn't hold it in anymore either and so when he finally managed to get up to stand on his feet again, his trousers were soiled once more. The guard was holding out the bowl for him to drink from, obviously amused at his discomfort. Zuko drank, ignoring the guard as much as he could. The guard left with a painful shove to his chest.

By the time his trousers were somewhat dry again, the market square was full of life. His legs had been asleep for some time now and when he tried to get standing, he had a hard time keeping still to let it pass. Some of the passers-by thought it funny, but Zuko didn’t care anymore.. A bunch of kids had gathered around him and were talking about him among themselves. Zuko was annoyed. He knew some of them already, after having been forced to stand here for weeks. Tiredly, he tried to ignore them, but they started throwing dirt again. None of the adults around were paying attention, or if they did, they just didn’t care. Zuko tried to keep his face somewhat safe. It was pretty futile.

The kids approached now. One was holding a feather in his hand. The intention was clear.

Zuko fought, realizing he was being attacked by some kids with something as harmless as a feather, and he couldn't even defend himself from that. He felt utterly helpless as he thrashed away from the tickling tip of the feather and tried to kick the offending kids. Kids could be so cruel, he thought breathlessly. He heard some adults finally taking action. Even if it was to get their children away from the ‘evil’ fire bender, for a moment he was glad. He felt exposed. It was easier to let memories take him to different places again.

The children from the South Pole came to his mind. Would he have attacked them to get to the Avatar? He'd picked up an elderly woman, in hindsight probably an authority figure by the looks of her. He wouldn't actually have done anything to her, but it worked out in the end anyways. Why was he questioning this now? Ugh, this situation was so frustrating, his thoughts just drifted off on their own, between spurts of pain and harassment, and an end wasn't in sight at all. He angrily kicked into the dust, threw himself off balance and felt the chains yank hard on his wrists. Great… Just great.

00000

Katara woke up quite late, and yet she was still the first one to rise. After checking up on Aang and his injuries, mainly his chest, as it was more delicate than his sprained foot, she went to make some breakfast. Katara hoped Aang would be ok. Azula really had done a number on him.

In the end, by mid morning, the four still weary teenagers were sitting at their shared room's singular wooden table and were slurping down some oatmeal. They didn't care what the time was, they only wanted to have some quiet and peace after these stressful days. Someone had to get out and tend to Appa though, so it was decided that Sokka and Katara would go to do that while Toph would stay with Aang.

They were talking on and off, one time Toph was telling Aang more about the Earth Rumble tournaments, then Aang told her a bit about growing up with the Air Nomads. He didn't have all that much energy to talk to though, the weight of the Princess's prowess dampening his typical enthusiasm, so they spent quite a while just laying around staring at the ceiling. Momo was resting next to Aang's head. Toph was toying around with some shiny rock, trying to form it into different shapes. She found it a nice challenge and a good activity to pass the time. Furthermore, the group found that if well done, it could be sold quite well as artwork, too. Two hours later, Sokka and Katara returned. After a late lunch and another healing session for Aang, they all decided that a nap wouldn't be a bad idea, and before long, it was evening. Toph grabbed a handful of dried fruit and shoved it into her pockets.

Toph had told them she'd be out for a bit. Seeing as she hadn't been able to go outside all day, she was restless. At least that was her argument to leave. In truth, she was simply curious. She hadn't managed to find a place to fight, but had found another interesting challenge. And so she soon found herself at the edge of the market square, where she felt him being harassed once more. The market was almost empty, the last merchants were putting their stuff away to leave.

Toph felt the young man pant heavily. Some men were standing around him. She went closer to hear them taunting him.

“…is your fire now, brat? Not so glorious, are we, hmm?”

“Dear daddy banished you, then announced you a traitor! And now, look at yourself, you're all weak. At our mercy......”

Laughing. She could make out a painful moan from the boy, too, though. Trying to decipher her what was happening through earth-bending, she felt him being choked by some stone collar. It wasn’t terribly crushing yet, but enough so she could clearly feel his pulse and breathing. The pulse that pounded against the stone made the boy’s panic evident. Soon, she had figured out who was controlling it. He was decent, so Toph decided she'd mess with him. Sneakily, she began influencing the collar herself, making it brittle. The man stopped earthbending irritably and she let the collar crumble before his eyes. She felt the boy pant as the stone’s tight grip broke, giving him room to breathe.

“What did you do?!” He strode towards the boy and grabbed him by the hair. Another pained noise.

“Nothing!”

00000

Zuko spat the word out bitterly. The man half pushed, half ripped his head down, causing his dangling frame to move painfully.

“Liar!”

He felt the back of the earthbenders hand hit his cheek hard. He shed away.

“You Fire Nation are all alike. Oh, don't act like that brat, you deserve it. Because of you, our sons and daughters die. It's all your fault. And you are going to pay.”

“I didn't kill them!” Zuko's voice was rough as he protested.

“What was that, boy? You didn't, nooo, you are absolutely innocent, aren't you!” The man's voice dripped with sarcasm. “You know what, I hate liars.”

Another punch to the solar plexus sent Zuko wheezing and snapping for air. It didn't stop him from trying to speak though:

“And… I… hate… being...judged… for things… others did!”

“Ah really now? You know what, you are lucky we didn't burn you alive yet. That would be a nice comeback, wouldn’t it? It’s how our people die, after all! You should get a taste of your own medicine. Ya know!”

Suddenly the man fell backwards, off balance. He seemed to not be able to regain balance for several steps. It was highly unusual for an earthbender, Zuko knew that. When the man before him drew to a stop, his face took on an unbelieving, shocked expression. Then they were scrambling to their feet in a hurry.

“The Blind Bandit”

“...she's mad.” Fear laced that voice as they ran away. Zuko felt a shock-wave going through the ground below his feet and turned his head to look over his shoulder.

“You again!” he snarled.

“Yeah, me.”

“What do you want?” He had turned back to the front and waited for her to walk around.

“From what?…”

“Urrgh,… you know what I mean!” Zuko threw his head down in frustration, then glared at her angrily.

“Hmmm. Maybe I'm trying to decide if you are worth saving?”

“Get lost!”

“I doubt it.”

“I don't need you to save me… and I don't want your pity.” He pulled on his wrists angrily, a painful jolt of pins and needles shot through his numb hands.

“You still don't have it… just like your fire.” She set herself on the ground, somehow making the hard earth look comfortable.

“Oh yeah?… Maybe I'll let you feel it up close if you don't leave.”

“You're bluffing.” She deadpanned.

Zuko's eyes grew wide, he felt something inside of him slump.

He tried calling his inner fire, failing to bring the little flame outwards, his despair smothering it even more… “I'm not… I'm not…” he whispered desperately, as he felt himself being sucked into the abyss of hopelessness.

A bolt of fear suddenly ran through him as he felt a hand touch his chest. Screaming, he tried drawing back, only to stumble and dangle on his wrists once more.

“Don't… touch… me!” he said between gasps for air.

“Calm down! Calm down… You seemed gone for a minute, you didn't hear me.” Toph wondered why a simple, gentle touch had set him off like that, it wasn’t normal, and otherwise, the boy gave off the impression of being a fighter. This wasn’t what a fighter should be like.

“You know…. There is a difference between pity and empathy!”

“Leave me alone!” Zuko repressed tears. He felt so weak, he didn't want to deal with this girl.

“Not yet, no.” After that she shut up though, calmly sitting in front of him.

He breathed in deeply. The marketplace had emptied of people, they were pretty much alone by now. Zuko enjoyed the quiet. He held his dry, burning eyes closed and while leaning against his arms, exhausted from his emotional outbreak. He let a single tear roll down from his bad eye. The tissue surrounding the tear duct was swollen shut, as so often was the case. Annoyed, he tried getting up to his feet again, but failed as he slipped on the loose rubble beneath his aching feet. The energy burst his panic had given him slowly faded away and he felt terrible.

He took a deep breath and let out a dry cough. When would they come to give him water? Ugh, he so hated to have to rely on someone else, especially for these, mundane, things. He glared at the girl in front of him. It had gotten quite dark, only the street lamps were giving off light from afar. The girl was cast in shadows, her back was towards the light.

“Why are you still here?”

“Wouldn't you like to know, Sparky?”

“You're annoying.”

She giggled quietly, surprising Zuko by how young it sounded, and once more, silence settled over the market place. Zuko would never have admitted it, but her presence was comforting. He had no idea how he got the energy to be angry at that.

“I hate you!”

“That's fine. I'm Toph by the way, and I think your food is coming.”

Zuko looked up at that. True, two guards were making their way over here. A noise to his feet made him look to the ground. He saw earth sweep up the mess that had collected to his feet. It actually even nudged him to lift his feet at some point. He stared at Toph, who seemed to be innocently playing with some earth on the ground. The two guards stopped in front of the platform.

“Girl, what are you doing here?”

“Annoying Sparky?” Toph grinned.

“Uhm, fine, just don't get in the way...” The guards said awkwardly.

They moved up to Zuko and one jammed the key into one shackle. Zuko quietly screamed when his arm moved down and the other wrist, still stuck, had to take the full weight. Soon, he tumbled to the ground and stayed there, lying still, panting. He curled up in pain as his numb arms awoke, tears running over his face.

“Huh? The ground's clean?” The guards were visibly confused.

“I didn't want to sit in that mess.” Toph spoke up again.

“Come on, up boy!” Zuko was nudged in the side by the guard, but he just curled up more, trying to turn away.

“Don't make me pull you up.”

Zuko mumbled something, whimpering quietly. He slowly turned over to get his arms below him, so he could push himself up. His foot shackles rattled as he got into a kneeling position. Toph heard him breathing through his teeth to manage the pain, then she felt him push. He crashed down with a pained grunt just a moment later. He breathed harshly, laying still for a moment, before trying it again and failing.

“Oh, come on, you smell disgusting, I don't want to touch you.”

“Cut him some slack, he can barely move at the moment. Just give him some time.” Toph intervened.

The guard took in the little blind girl. The posh, snooty way she conducted herself, completely at ease and expecting her word to be taken seriously, screamed of high class. “Oh well, fine.” He took a step back, as if careful to not offend the bizarre girl, and leaned against the arch, joining his equally confused partner.

Zuko slumped down again, not moving for a whole while. She felt him shake and wondered if he was crying or just exhausted. The guards talked to themselves quietly, ignoring them. They only turned back to them when Zuko moved again, He was sitting up finally.

“I'm ready” His voice was hoarse and cracked. One guard came over, Zuko staggered to his feet, he knew the trip to his “bathroom” which simply was the sewer he had to dump all other waste in. He didn't care.

When he was back at the arch, he slid down the stone structure and leaned against it, eyes closed. The guard threw two thick slices of bread into his lap. He opened his eyes and moved his hands sluggishly to grab one and bring it to his mouth. He chewed surprisingly slowly, ignoring everything else around him. He coughed, the sound dry and rough. When the coughing stopped, he slumped forward, resting his head on his knees.

“Hey Guards, how about some water? I don't think he'll get it down otherwise.”

“No” The second guard spoke up.

“Why not? we gotta give him water anyway, gotta keep him alive.”The first guard replied as he got the bowl and went to the well, starting to fill it. Zuko hadn't paid attention, just restarted eating when he felt like he could. The guard came back and held out the bowl to the boy. He looked up, only reacting after a long moment.

“Don't drink it all, you should clean your wrists a bit.” Toph murmured.

He didn't react, just lifting the bowl to his lips again.

“They'll get infected.”

Zuko released a bitter laugh. “Already happened, now leave.”

The second guard spoke up. “He doesn't seem to like your kindness, miss, why waste it on him?”

“Gets a rise out of him. It's fun. Hey Sparks, giving up?” Zuko winced, he glared at her.

“Shut up.”

She created a bowl with earthbending and filled it with the handful of dried fruit she had taken, then pushed it to his side quickly

“You are!”

“I'm not…” Toph cut him off.

“Then why aren't you eating?” She pointed to the bowl. She knew he was trapped, he would have to eat it, even if it was from her, because she had challenged him. The boy glared at her again, he knew what she'd done. She just shrugged and nodded towards the guards. They hadn't realized she had snuck food to him.

Finally, he leaned back, he had requested another bowl of water, which he had gotten, now he was just resting his head on his knees. After a few minutes, the guards decided he'd been down long enough. Surprisingly enough, he didn't fight them when they reattached the shackles, he even held up his arms for them. The guard's left soon after.

“Why?” Zuko asked.

“Why what?”

“What are you trying to achieve? Is this all just a cruel way to get back at me? Or is it just too boring with the Avatar’s group? Am I a distraction? And don't play games with me...” He carefully had watched her, seeing her freeze when he mentioned the Avatar... So he had been right recognizing that boy's voice. He knew he had caught her off guard, it satisfied him.

“How did you find out?”

“Vocal recognition, they called you yesterday… _Toph_ ”

Zuko finally felt a bit in control for once. His voice still was hoarse and shaky, but one heard the difference in confidence. It had been in his mind the whole day, and now he had seen her earthbend. She was obviously another prodigy. And another overconfident one, just like Azula.

“ _I hate you!…_ ”

Now it was Toph's turn to stare, this confession of hatred was different than the one before, this one was filled with frustration and bitterness. He moved and the chain's on his feet rattled.

“Keep away from me… Toph” He said her name dangerously calm, each word a warning, as smooth as summer honey, but as sharp and bitter as cold steel. Toph had been stunned to silence. She stayed where she was though. She didn't leave like he hoped she would. He knew, his position wasn't exactly intimidating, but it irked him even so. He didn't want anything to do with the Avatar's friends. They were annoying, dreaming the big dream of peace that would never exist between the nations. And they just didn't take a hint.

Toph thought herself hard to catch off guard, so it surprised her that he did, and she didn't know what that boy meant and why he acted like he did. Why would he hate her like that? And how did he know Sokka's voice? She understood his reactions about everything related to being confined, even though her case had been entirely different, but it didn't explain the hatred. This animosity went deeper.

“Do you by chance have a ponytail?”

The question caught Zuko off guard.

“No I don't…my hair is short” he hissed angrily.

So that’s how it was: She'd just ignore what he'd said and move on as if nothing had happened. “You haven't answered my question! What are you trying to achieve?”

“Ugh, I don't know, really. Maybe I do things because I want to?”

“Really? Why would you do that except out of pity? I told you, I don't want it.” his voice was full of distrust and accusation.

“And I told you: There is a difference between pity and empathy.” Toph insisted cockily.

“Like you could relate to me, to this!”

“I can relate to being confined, to not being recognized for who I am. People just see my blind eyes, and think they know what I can and can't do. They think they know me, and they’re not willing to look past that. Now Sparky, who are you? Yourself or your country? And which do you want to be recognized as?” Zuko stared at her, bewildered at her admission, did she really not know who exactly he was?

“Like it would make a difference what I want. It's in people's nature to judge and condemn.”

“Yeah, I know… but who do you want to decide about your life and who you are?” Zuko was quiet for a moment, then he said jadedly:

“You sound awfully wise for your age.”

“Are you saying I can't be? Are you judging me?…” she laughed, “Anyway, I need to go now, would you like some more water before I leave?”


	3. Unsteady Steps

While Toph walked back to the in, clearly amused, Zuko was fuming. That kid was just something else. At the same time, chained up as he was, he could only try to evade thinking about what she had said for so long. His mind kept returning to their conversation no matter how hard he fought against it.

He hated being judged, and she'd had the guts to call him out on doing just that. The worst thing was, she had been right. He had judged her, he still kind of did. But in all honesty, he couldn't help it: Her snobby, self-sure attitude, her cockiness, her skill in bending… All that reminded him of Azula, and he resented Toph for it.

She hid her weaknesses all too well, he could not have guessed her as being blind at all by the way she moved. It made his thoughts wander to if Azula had any weakness. She, too, seemed just so perfect. Perfectly deadly that is, he darkly reminded himself. But he didn't want to think about her. He much preferred Toph over his sister, as infuriating as she was. What was she planning though? She obviously had no clue who he was… Could she really be just nice? Hm, she was with the Avatar, the Avatar who kept believing that they wouldn’t need to be enemies. Zuko supposed that maybe Toph really was just nice. Still an enemy though…

Zuko hung his head, too tired to keep up a facade. Like it would matter, he was at his lowest point. Considered traitor to his homeland, betrayed by his very own sister and a captive in the midst of the badgermole’s den, he bitterly mused. His body may have been weak but he could still feel anger pent up in him. He’d tried everything, everything to be accepted by his father, only to always be overlooked because of Azula. But he’d still loved her, he still had wanted to be her big brother. And then, one compassionate slip of tongue had changed his whole life. 

He'd tried everything, and he'd only had the lives of his people in mind. Yes, he saw that _how_ he’d handled the situation had been rash and unthoughtful, he knew that now. But ever since the incident where Azula had tried to trick him into going home, he wondered if his punishment had been fair? Banishment: he'd known it would be difficult to obtain the Avatar, but he had known he could do it. However, the past years, chasing after the Avatar, both before and after his reappearance from the iceberg, had worn him down greatly. The ongoing failure to capture that which he needed so desperately, to gain that which he had lost, combined with all the trials and danger he had put himself through had spread him thin like butter on bread. The battle at the North Pole had just been the final nail in the coffin which allowed the fragile hold he held on his resolve to crumple.

But to be considered a traitor, for failing? He understood perfectly well that being the heir of a nation, the future ruler, was a big responsibility. But how could he have learned without making any errors? Well, Azula had seemed to manage it,… but she was at Father's ear, too, which he'd never been. He sighed. Like all _that_ mattered right now, standing here shackled in the freezing air of the night, somewhere in the Earth Kingdom.

00000

The others didn't inquire about her whereabouts when Toph got back, which she was happy about. She thought about telling them about the captive at the square. But then again, Katara and Sokka hated firebenders with a personal passion. And Aang was very likely to just adopt anyone.

“So how is Twinkletoes doing?”

Katara looked up from the scroll she’d been reading intently. “Pretty well, I think we can leave the day after tomorrow, or so. So I guess we'll head for the market tomorrow to restock.”

Toph considered the information. Seems like she didn't have much time left to decide if she should save Sparky. But she could discuss it with the others at the market, where they could actually see what she was talking about and why she thought it necessary to take him with them. Thinking about ways to convince the water siblings, she wondered if he was a firebender. She'd just assumed he was, but she hadn’t actually seen him bend, and she wasn't sure how serious his spiteful remarks should or could be taken. She really needed to talk to him again. Katara might be able to be pulled to Toph's side by making her pity him, but Sokka wouldn't be so easy.

00000

Zuko was shaken awake roughly. The guards were there, the sun already above the horizon. Groggily he took note of it. The freezing air was numbing him, making him realize the true worth of a camping fire once again. His wounds still throbbed and his skin itched and stung from his sunburn. Sleep had evaded him till the early hours of morning, but the guards of course wouldn't wait for him to wake up naturally, now that exhaustion had finally caught up with him.

They grabbed his shackled hands, causing bolts of pain to course through the raw abrasions on his wrists, jamming in the keys and letting him fall to the dirty ground. Soon, he was stumbling towards the sewer, bare feet lagging. Already, flies had gathered around him again, their incessant buzz an annoyance he still couldn’t ignore. Great, another day of torment on the busy market square, he grumbled in his thoughts as he was lead back to his personal spot of torture. They actually let him sit down for a few minutes, getting him water and even a piece of not yet stale bread.

Toph's words from the day before came to mind: that he should be washing his wrists. Yeah, he wished he could, he really should have done it when she had said it, because he knew she'd get him more water later, now he didn't have that luxury. Would she come tonight? He sighed tiredly, he shouldn't think like that, he didn't want her help. But… why had uncle not shown up yet?

Zuko didn't want to acknowledge it, but he knew his time was running short. He knew, generally, you could survive just about anything, but he also knew that a little infected cut could kill if you didn't treat it. Especially when you were running on your limits, and he knew he was. He had no delusions about that.

Did he even want to live? He couldn't go back to what he had been. He wasn't able to move forward. And what awaited him in life even if he went free? A fugitive, forced to hide who he was, what he was…

A hand shot out and reflexively he winced and moved back, or rather tried. He looked up. The guard was hovering over him. He backed away, fear spiking suddenly, uncontrollably. He was too weak to prevent them from doing anything. He was too weak. The pain of being hauled and having his arms locked back up made him yelp.

“Oh come on, don't stare at me like that, bastard.”

00000

The market was as lively as ever when the three of them entered its streets. Aang was on bedrest, his ankle still slightly swollen, as Katara had focused on mending his ribs. The siblings were bickering as usual, this time about which food to buy. Katara was angrily shouting at Sokka that she would be the one to cook it. Toph just shook her head at them. They had restocked most of their food supplies when Sokka spotted the captive's arch.

“Hey Katara look! That's what I wanted to show you!” Enthusiastically he ran ahead, pulling her along. Toph frowned, but followed them anyway. Soon they stood in front of the podium the arch was located on. Katara stared:

The young man was caked in dirt, grime and whatever else. Rivulets of sweat ran down his body, leaving little tracks in the dust. He wasn’t standing properly, instead visibly hanging into his shackled wrists for support, which caused him to sway as he fought to keep his balance. Trails of mostly dried blood ran down down his arms. Some of it clearly had dripped onto his chest. Shocked, she searched for the face, but there was a blindfold covering parts of his face and the grime that had accumulated on the rest made it impossible to guess his age. What had he done to be treated like this?

In the meanwhile Sokka had grabbed a stick that was lying around and poked the captive with it none-too-gently. The captive visibly winced but didn’t make any noise.

“Eh Fire Nation scum? Pleasant stay, huh?” The man had frozen up at the voice. Now, he moved his head away from them. Toph approached, too, ignoring the stench of his unwashed body, as did Katara.

“Hey Scum, I'm talking to you, don't ignore me!” He took a stick and held it to the prisoners chin, forcing him to raise his head towards them. The rag around his eyes really did cover a lot, must have been a handkerchief at some point, judging by how it was folded and wrapped around his head. Surely annoying to have it lapping over his nose, Sokka mused with satisfaction.

Katara noticed his heaving chest movements. The man was breathing hard, his position clearly painful.

“Got nothing to say?”

A growl through gritted teeth.

Sokka was just about to hit him when Katara grabbed his arm: “Stop!”

Sokka shook her off and approached the prisoner once again. Chains clattered as the shackled man tried to retreat to the side. Sokka took note of the chain connecting his feet and hooked his stick in it, smirking maliciously before he pulled. There was a suppressed cry as the man fell, his wrist taking on all his body weight. Breathing loudly, he tried staggering to his feet.

“Sokka stop, you’re hurting him.” Katara’s voice didn’t quite reach him. Sokka drank the pain he had caused. _He’d hurt the Firebender!_ Memories were haunting him… really stabbing at him, making him want to push everything away, there was finally a victim to lash out at.

“You think you have it so bad, hmm? You know what happened with my mom?…”

“Go away!” The quiet, hoarse voice sounded tired. Sokka ignored it. The response only fueled his anger.

“She died in a raid! Burned alive. You Firebenders did it…” Sokka got more worked up with every word. Years of pain transformed into merciless stabs.

“Shut up!” he got interrupted, the voice hardly louder, having taken on an angry quality, however..

Sokka growled and raised his stick once more: “Because of you, my sister had to hide who she was! What she was! Because of you she grew up without a mother! The body was burned beyond recognition.” His voice shook, he was just shy of shouting now. Finally he stopped his rant to breathe. Images running through his mind still. He hardly felt Katara’s hand on his arm.

“Go away…” The Firebender's voice cracked. He still breathed heavily. “... or I'll tell them that the Avatar is here.”

The word _‘Avatar’_ finally caused Sokka to halt.

“What?” 

The captive didn't bother looking up, not being able to see, anyway.

Sokka saw the steely muscles in the arms that kept the man standing. Then the cracked lips started moving as if talking to himself: “Bother me any further and I'll announce your's and the Avatar's presence here.”

Sokka paled. How could this guy possibly know who they were? Who was this? Had this guy been on Zuko's ship? Unthinking, Sokka reached out, touching the hem of the rag that covered the prisoner's eyes, wondering if he'd recognize him. The body in front him recoiled. A screech, barely recognizable as the prisoners’ sore voice, accompanied the movement. Sokka pulled his hand back in shock, the body in front of him was panting now.

“Keep ...away... from me!” The voice breaking due to more than just hoarseness. “Keep away...”

Sokka felt a hand grab his, pulling him away. He barely registered Toph's firm voice:

“Come on Sokka, give him some space, you've done enough.” 

Katara in the meanwhile stood there, frozen. How could Sokka do this to a defenseless person? Obviously, this man had been bothered by people a lot. The other thing that held her attention had been his voice. The mention of the Avatar, but also that panic-filled sound he'd made. She didn't quite register that Toph had pulled Sokka away, that she had been left behind.

She observed the young man. Eyes covered by fabric, he didn't even try to look up. His breathing had calmed down a bit, but she could still see his skin slide over each rib while he breathed. She also registered some wounds that were oozing pus. None seemed to be properly treated and he clearly was in pain.

“Go away!”

Katara looked up. How had he known she was still here? How had he known about the Avatar anyway? He couldn't even see…

“… I am warning you, I will announce the Avatar's presence here. Just leave me alone.” he whispered.

“Your wounds need medical attention.” Katara took a step closer to him, planning to assess him.

“Yeah, so what? Just leave.” His near-whispering had taken on a mocking quality. He swayed, trying to keep the balance on tired legs.

“They can get life threatening if you don't get them looked at soon.”

“Does it look like anyone here cares?… do you? Don't give me that shit…you….”

“I do!”

“pfff, right!…” He chuckled darkly, painfully. “Maybe you do care, maybe you care because you feel guilty… for society,… for your brother…. Pitiful!”

Katara stared at him, he hadn't just dared to say that, had he?! “Wouldn't you care, if you were in my position?”

“Once, I did,....I learned not to.” His fingers curled on nothing but air, his head turned away from her as if trying to avert his gaze. His arms, she stared at them once more, were coated in trails of blood, some of it days old, dusty and cracked; some still new and glistening. His hands were bound just a bit higher than his head, rendering his arms useless to use for anything other than keeping him upright when he couldn’t stand. He seemed to be ignoring her now, as he said nothing else. He probably hoped she’d get the hint and leave...

00000

Zuko became lost in his thoughts, old, bitter memories taking hold. Compassion was dangerous: The court had been a deadly game. It was all about being on the right side and snake-ing your way through. You had to develop a good instinct, know whom you could trust, and sometimes you only had luck. Your friend one day, might backstab you the next. In the end you could only trust yourself. Hadn't Azula proven that? Not even family could be trusted. He… he trusted Uncle though… right? Uncle was different... 

“... hey… hey you…”

He violently recoiled as something touched his face.

“Don’t touch me! Leave me alone.” He said panting, pain evident on his face. 

“Are you alright? You seemed gone for a moment.”

“I’m fine.”

“Like hell you are. you’re shaking. Here, I can heal…”

“I don’t need your help!” Zuko spat. “I don’t want it…. I don’t need pity… especially not from you.”

“You…You… you do _so_ need help. It’s not like anyone else here has helped you up till now, no? You look like you’ve been here a while.”

“Yeah, so? It’s not like you would just let me go. I’m Fire Nation after all, your little Avatar’s enemy.”

“Aang wouldn’t mind making Fire Nation friends. He doesn’t want you to be his enemy.”

“Ha, yeah of course, let’s all cuddle and be friends, sure… I hate you. I hate the Avatar and I do not want your help, so shut it and leave me in peace.”

“You… you… fine, captive… rot for all I care. I’d rather help someone grateful than such a…. a… uugh!” Katara angrily stomped off, towards where Sokka and Toph had disappeared.

00000

“Really Sokka?” Sokka visibly shrunk under Toph's harsh voice. They were in a side alley not far from the market. Sokka stared at the reddish stone structures, deciding then that he’d not be that easily intimidated by Toph:

“He deserved it!” 

“Deserved it?” Toph exclaimed. “Deserved it? Have you taken note of his condition at all? No one deserves that!”

“So he was a bit beat up… how do you think Fire Nation prisoners get treated, how Aang would have been treated? They’re keeping the captive alive, what more do you expect?”

“No, they’re not keeping him alive, they are draining him, killing him slowly, they just pretend to sustain him. It’s cruel.”

“You know Toph,” Sokka said slowly, “The way my mom was killed, it was cruel, too. How the Air Nomads ended, It was cruel. They didn’t deserve their fate, either. Life isn’t fair, that’s how it is, and I can’t be like Aang and believe in the good in everything. If anyone deserves punishment, it would be the Fire Nation. And he even recognized us… what does that say Toph?!” 

“He can't be blamed for what the Fire Nation has done.”

“He could have refused.”

“Maybe he didn't have a choice!” Toph bit out.

“There’s always a choice,..” A new voice answered, angrily. They saw Katara approaching. “and I just spoke with him. He refused any healing, even though he desperately needs it, ungrateful brat.” Katara was seething. Toph pushed the new info aside, she wasn’t surprised, so she answered as if nothing had happened.

“You don't know him at all, how can you judge?”

“I don't care who he is, I don't care! I don’t feel like helping an arrogant brat like him.” Katara had her hands balled. She looked as if she was close to tears.

“Hey Sis, calm down…” Sokka shortly embraced his sister, wrapping an arm around her back. “It’s okay, I understand.”

Huffing, Toph waited for them to get a hold of themselves. A few minutes passed in silence.

“We should still save him.” She finally said determined.

“We should what? Are you crazy? We can't just go around and save some random prisoners. Especially not Fire Nation ones.” Sokka's voice jumped quite a bit.

“If we don't, he'll die.” Toph all but spat the words. Sokka replied without mercy.

“Hate to break it to you, but people die every day. Especially because of the Fire Nation. Besides, those we've encountered so far have been strictly loyal to the Fire Lord. What do you think will happen?”

It was quiet for a minute, then Toph spoke up again:

“He is a good person. I spoke with him. I think there have been a lot of misunderstandings.”

“Toph, he just threatened to announce who we were. He's not on our side. And you can't expect him to just switch sides.” Sokka groaned at Toph's stubbornness.

“Aang would agree with me. Besides: The guy'd be in our debt, he wouldn't disregard that, would he? Honour is a big deal in the Fire Nation, isn't it?”

“He'll be considered a traitor if he is caught or even just seen with us. You can't expect that kind of commitment. And don't dare mention this to Aang, he'd even try to reform the Fire Lord if he got the chance. That kid just is too good-natured for his own good.”

“Are you sure you’re not just holding on to your grudges? We still need a firebending teacher for Aang. If he is a Firebender, then it'd be ideal.”

“No, that is _not_ the way to get Aang a teacher. Besides, Aang isn’t anywhere near mastering Earthbending yet. We still have time to find him a teacher for Firebending.”

“It's hard to find any willing Firebenders these days. You know that!”

“The answer Toph… is no! And it will stay no. Now, I want to hear nothing more about it. Let's go back to the inn.” Sokka’s voice was stern and left no room for argument. One could see Toph fuming, though she didn't say any more and just pressed her lips together. A moment later she stormed off.

The water siblings just stared after her, shrugging. They knew she'd need to cool off, so they'd let her be for the time being.

00000

Toph however was already scheming. No, she wouldn't just give up this easily, she was determined, quickly tracking her way back towards the market. She really needed to talk to him, figure out his mind and skill-set. Though, if she was honest: Yeah, she was in denial, so what?! She was already set on getting him anyway.

He just hung there. Arms stretched fully, knees bent and feet dragging on the dirty ground. No one was bothering him at the moment. People hardly spared him a glance and went on with their business as she approached.

“What do you want?” She was surprised when he was the first to speak. He hadn't even moved to look up. His voice had been clipped though, angry as usual. “Can't you leave me alone? Is that too much to ask for?” The hint of despair that had seeped into his voice now, it was somehow new, had never been this strong. It bordered on pleading, throwing Toph off.

It took her a moment to recollect.

“Say, are you a Firebender?”

She heard him move in surprise, lifting his head, then letting it sink again in frustration. She reached out with her Earthbending and noticed something odd. His head felt weird today, as if something was wrapped around it. Why?

“And if I was?” The words were spat, but she had expected the rude tone. He was on the defensive, which meant that he probably had the abilities.

“What is your plan? How do you get out of here?”

“Like I'd share that with you. Leave me alone.” She had felt his body's reaction, he hadn't lied but cringed, the taste of fear in the air for a moment.

“You don't have one, do you?” she said gently, hearing the chains rattle a moment later, as he stood up. His arms were now bent, but the wrists still elevated above his head. Anger, overpowering fear, frustration, sadness. It all was present.

“Are you here to torment me Toph? Come to gloat? To remind me how weak I am? Really, is that what you’re trying to accomplish? Is that who you are?… I've had enough of that,.. I've had enough….” His voice carried so many emotions, exhaustion present in every word. She hadn't intended to point out his hopeless situation, she'd only wondered if there was any other way out for him. There likely wasn't. He'd have tried already, before losing so much physical advantage.

“I didn't mean it that way.” 

He didn’t reply, and they sank into silence.

She felt for the dust clinging to his body once again. Felt how the breeze, or rather the wind now, moved some of the fine dust particles that didn't stick to his skin. Once again, his face felt weird. By now, she was pretty certain that there was something wrapped around his head.

“Did they bandage your head?” The boy moved in surprise at the inquiry, then shook his head.

“No, someone decided to blindfold me and then left, just this morning. How would you know? Aren't you blind?”

Toph was still for a moment, but then decided to explain. “I see with my bending, there is dust all around us...” then she added, sheepishly: “Didn't expect that, did you?”

“Oh…” The sound was quiet, then a moment later he thoughtfully said: “You know, I should be thankful, the darkness helps with the headache.”

Toph was pleasantly surprised to finally have a decently tempered conversation with him. “I bet they didn't realize that.” She commented and Zuko felt his lips twitch. But then Toph dropped the bomb:

“Aang will need a teacher, for firebending.” she stated thoughtfully.

The prisoner's head shot up.

“Forget it!” The man spat the words, obviously appalled at the suggestion. His whole body had tensed, gone was the semi-pleasant atmosphere they had had just moments before.

“It was merely a thought.” Toph couldn't help but feel that somehow, his trust in her had been broken. And it was true. Zuko had wanted to believe that the girl approaching him day after day had only done so to talk to him, hoped so, in some weird way, as she had felt closest to an ally he currently had. But this had wiped it away in one clean swipe.

“I am loyal to the Fire Lord, therefore the Avatar is, and stays my enemy.”

“Even though the Fire Lord won't lift a finger to get you out of here?”

Zuko growled at that, a feral sound coming from the depths of his chest. “Don't talk about things you don't understand.”

Toph drew back. Somehow these words were filled with more than just spite. There was a darker quality to his voice while saying this than ever before. It was as if he desperately wanted to believe something was whole, when it really had begun to crack.

She could feel his trembling and didn't know what she should do. She'd never been good with comforting people, and so she left, gave him space, as much as he could have in his situation anyway.

That in mind, she made her way to one of the stands selling clothing. She'd take care of some things in the meantime, finalizing her plan of action. In the sky, there was a storm brewing. There was a change in the air. Already, gusts of warm wind howled through the alleys and over the market, and the air grew moist, promising rain, making everyone sluggish. Toph felt there was a storm coming, and soon..

00000

Zuko was glad she had left. This new revelation was just too much. So they thought of him as a possible firebending teacher!?… he, who still struggled with the basics. He, who had hunted the Avatar,... though he supposed they didn’t know that it was him yet. Still… it was just so absurd.

At the same time, he felt alone, abandoned. Toph had been the only one here to treat him with any kindness and apparently unconditional commitment. Well, she had shown her true colours just now…

Zuko wondered though, she had run off at a strange point in their conversation. Disregarding him completely, it was unlike their other meetings. And so the thoughts circled as he waited for the day to end.

00000

He heard them approach, at least five people. The blindfold was still securely around his eyes, so he had to rely on his other senses. Zuko licked his dry lips, swallowing thick spit. It mildly crossed his mind that his hearing was getting better, his all around awareness of people, too. His senses had become hyper sensitive. 

“Hey fire-boy, get up. Don’t slack off here.”

Zuko suddenly felt something spring to life, a flame, somewhere in their midst.

“I said get up. Pick your feet off the ground or we’ll make you.”

Zuko stumbled to his feet. not to heed the command, but to signal that he still had the strength, still had some fight left in him…Someone grabbed his chin and he winced at the touch.

“I think we should let him see this, don’t you agree?” the voice from before called out again, too far away to belong to the person holding him. 

Various sounds of agreement, then Zuko’s blindfold was ripped off. He was forced to stare directly into the flames of a torch. The sight made his legs and head move on its own, recoiling, trying to move away from the flames as memories momentarily mixed with reality.

“Oh yeah, hot, isn’t it? Now look at what the Fire Nation caused.” The young man in front of Zuko held out his hand and the torch was taken away. The hand was obviously crippled. The skin, an ugly burn scar which had contracted the skin so much, that the fingers couldn’t be stretched normally anymore. The guy angrily pulled back his sleeve, where the burn continued up till the elbow.

“And you will pay. I want to see the pain and fear on your face as your own element is turned against you and you can’t do anything about it.” He started laughing. Again the torch was waved around in front of his face, the flames reflecting in his eyes. The guy wasn’t looking though. And Zuko wasn’t paying much attention to him anymore, either. Instead, his attention was focused on the flame, trying to stay calm. He could do it, he would snuff out that fire before it burned him. He closed his eyes, feeling for the flame again. There was shouting around him, but he tuned it out. The flame had moved down to his ragged pant legs.

The guy was laughing as the fabric caught fire, but Zuko didn’t move. He put all his focus on the flame, trying to frame it, to snuff it, quickly, as he had done in past. Someone grabbed him by the ear though, breaking the concentration.

“Open your eyes, look at it!” the young man demanded.

His hair was grabbed, his head pushed forward and held there. He yelped in pain as his wrists were jolted.

“You see the flames climbing up? Starting to feel the terror that it soon will touch skin?...”

Zuko sucked in air, pace quickening. He could already feel the heat and now desperately stomped his foot. The flames only flickered, climbing ever higher.

“... smell the stench of burned hair and skin… until you’re nauseous. Imagine, being trapped in it, smoke filling your lungs… no air to breathe. That’s how it felt. I was on the verge of passing out, hear me?!”

The flames were flickering. Every attempt was visible, but it wasn’t enough. Zuko twitched his fingers, he could feel the panic coming. Zuko couldn’t help but stare at the fire. The hand on his hair had disappeared. Holding his breath, he tried again, his immobility hindering him in addition to his already weakened state. It just didn’t want to work. The flames wouldn’t obey him anymore, they hadn’t for a while.

The flames flickered again. The heat hurt already, the flames almost licked his knee. He started shaking, didn’t hear the talking around him anymore, the laughing, the jeering. He wanted to live, not to burn. He would not beg again, though. It had never helped and he was so sick of it. He had failed, the fire would eat at his flesh, tear into him. He couldn’t snuff it out.

Fire meant life. He didn’t move, didn’t struggle or scream, he only recalled this strong _want_ , no, _need_ to live, as he resigned to this fate, a sense of calmness overcoming him. He closed his eyes, not caring to lift his head…

The heat lessened. He could still feel the flames, the fire was alive… it actually felt more alive than ever. He opened his eyes to stare at his leg. There was a black track on his skin where the heat had left soot. The fabric had shriveled away while burning, falling down in ashes. But what really captured his attention was the fire itself. It had grown darker, the flames now a dark red to gentle orange, not the heaty yellow he was used to. He realized that it was in fact touching his skin, though it didn’t burn him. He closed his eyes and slowly breathed out. Looking again, he noticed that it had stopped spreading. It was only flickering in place now.

Slowly, he registered the sounds again: the shouting, the cheering. He raised his head, searching for his tormentor’s eyes, capturing them in his own burning gaze. 

“Put it out!”

The young man froze.

Zuko spoke with a strange calmness, not cold, rather burning in it’s own quiet way. The crippled youth winced. He was staring at Zuko’s face. Then Zuko witnessed as the torch fell to the ground. As if in trance, the other slowly turned to grab a bucket of water and in one swift motion Zuko got drenched. The fire died with sizzling noises. Zuko’s knees buckled and another painful jolt went through his arms. He felt the other one approach, then two hands grabbed his chin almost gently and made him look up. He felt the rough texture of scar texture, the weird way the hand was held. The crippled hand moved towards the scar, thumb ghosting over it slowly. The youth began shaking… then suddenly Zuko’s head was pushed down and the other backed away, shaking his head in shock. He staggered, then turned around, retreating.. Others followed him, calling a name.

He breathed out a sigh in relief.

00000

“I’ll be out tonight! I’ll meet you at Appa’s barn tomorrow, alright?” Toph quickly slipped out of the apartment. It was evening and she still had some things she wanted to take care of.

The winds outside had picked up and the air was unbearably humid. She went to the place she had hidden her backpack with the things she had bought this afternoon. She’d bring them to Appa now, as she could already smell the approaching rain in the air. She didn’t want the bag to get wet, so she would place it under Appa’s tail or something like that. The city gates would close in an hour or so, so she still had plenty of time, but when she started to go back towards the market square, the drops finally started to fall.

In the meanwhile, Zuko was standing up, head leaned back and mouth wide open, trying to get as much liquid into his system as he could. The rain was still warm, but he knew the thunderstorm hadn’t yet started, the rain would turn colder still and the winds would cool. And he would stand there, waiting for the shower to pass, unable to use the water properly. Freezing.

He already felt the wetness running down on him, washing down more than a week worth of grime and sweat. At least the thought was pleasant.

He heard the splashing of steps in puddles behind him. He didn’t move until the person stopped and called.

“Hey Sparky!”

Zuko looked up.

“You…” he said flatly. Toph approached slowly and sat down on the dirty ground before him and grinned towards his direction. “Why are you here? I told you, I want nothing to do with the Avatar.”

“I’m not the Avatar.” Toph was twirling dirt in her hand. Zuko just glared at her for a moment.

“Fine, do what you want, just be quiet and let me be…. and don’t come complaining to me tomorrow if you get sick!”

Zuko stared at the ground, Toph chuckled quietly.

“We are leaving early tomorrow morning.”

Zuko looked up, but Toph was smiling into nowhere, not elaborating on why she had told him. He didn’t know what to reply, so he just let it be and waited.

As expected, the rain gradually got colder. The first strikes of lightning could be seen and thunder could be heard. Toph occasionally winced at the noise. They were alone on the deserted market square and the weather gave the place a sinister feel. Zuko was starting to shiver. He saw that Toph had made a wall which seemed to shield her a bit from the wind and rain, but he saw that her clothes clung to her frame just like his trousers uncomfortably clung to his. Zuko sank into himself, not having the energy to even care about standing properly anymore, he’d better try to relax and get some sleep. Another hour passed and they were just waiting there. The sky was now dark, only lightning illuminating it occasionally. Toph had kept up with his wish and had not uttered another word to him, meanwhile she was still playing with dirt. Zuko focused on breathing, trying to warm himself a bit with his firebending without success. He had his mouth opened against the sky to catch the precious liquid, but secretly also, to keep his teeth from chattering.

Then, suddenly, his knees touched ground below him, He lifted his head towards Toph in shock. He hadn’t felt the structure move at all, but here he was, sitting fully on his shins… With wide eyes he regarded Toph:

“What are you doing?”

“Isn’t it obvious? Getting you some relief, helping you lay down.” The pace at which the structure was being lowered increased. Soon he was fully kneeling. “You better move a bit so your hands won’t be encased in stone, alright?”

Zuko just let his head fall forward, just letting the relief flood him for a moment, before he gathered himself enough to follow the request and scramble backwards a bit. He straightened his back when his shoulders finally were allowed to rotate downwards and bit down on his teeth to keep from moaning at the pain it caused. Finally, he lay on the ground fully, curled into himself, arms held close. He didn’t care that he was laying in a puddle of mud and water. He didn’t care about the freezing rain or the uncomfortable ground, he was just glad that he was able to curl up. Exhausted as he was, Zuko soon dozed off.

Toph witnessed the young man collapsing from fatigue right in front of her. After he had been lowered to the ground he had quickly brought himself into fetal position, taking deep breaths. Those quickly evened out though. His vibrations were steady now and she knew he was asleep. She continued waiting. When would those guards finally show up?

00000

“Sparky…. Sparky?” Gentle shaking by warm hands woke him up. He groaned, but then noticed that he was laying on the ground and was completely soaked, still there.

“What…?” He opened his eyes, only to be greeted with a faint silhouette that he recognized as Toph’s.

“They weren’t here already? Were they?”

“Who?” he asked, still rather muddled.

“Your guards, they didn’t show up yet, but it’s about eleven at night now, so I doubt they will… were they here before I came?”

Zuko turned his head into her direction, letting out a sigh as he realized what had, or rather hadn’t happened. “Don’t you get it!? They won’t come. It’s raining, so I have water.”

Toph said nothing, so Zuko turned back, fully intending to go back to sleep, but there was a tug at his wrists. His arms were gently turned, then he heard some clicking noises and his wrists were jolted slightly. He hissed at the pain. Then he heard a click and felt the metal give way. Toph gently lifted his hand towards his body and put it on his belly. After that, he felt his other wrist being turned and handled in a similar manner while he just lay there, too startled, too drained to move. Toph walked around him and he turned on his back fully, taking deep breaths. He had neither the energy nor the heart to protest.

So they were desperate enough to get a prisoner to teach the Avatar firebending… they were showing their true colours now. He couldn’t help but snort.

Toph looked up. “What is it? Are you okay?”

Zuko turned his head towards her, regarding her, too tired to glare, the gesture would have been lost to her anyway.

“I’m still your enemy.”

“I know.” She moved the shackles around his legs, causing him to hiss and bite down on his teeth. Another shackle fell away, only one left. “You will be in our debt, you understand what that means, right?”

Zuko let his head sink back down onto the dirty ground, staring up into the clouds and reluctantly answered. “Yeah”

“I don’t expect you to change sides, I don’t expect you to do something against your homeland… but don’t make life difficult for us as long as we are travelling together, alright?”

Zuko only grunted.

She grabbed the remaining shackle around his ankle and opened it also. The young man however made no move, he just lay there, breathing, staring off into nothing.

Toph let go of the shackles and grabbed him by the shoulders. “Come on, let’s go!” She urged and only slowly Zuko uncurled and pushed himself up.

“Toph?... Thank you…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ystv: Bet you were waiting for this to happen :) though we haven't exactly moved from angst to comfort yet, it's comforting to know that he got help, isn't it?  
> The sibling's respective reactions were difficult to decide on how to approach and portray. I however see Katara not dealing well with someone not accepting her goodwilled help, and Sokka, well, they both got a huge grudge against the Fire Nation, and at their age, emotions can easily override thinking with triggers such as these. that's at least the way I see it. Zuko on the other hand, he's really just trying to protect himself, and at that moment the only way he knows how is in spite. He's past caring, he just wants to be left alone.  
> And Toph? She's fun to write. I see her as very sensible and understanding. She got the ability to listen past the obvious when she wants to, and her calling him out on things is just her bluntness, and I think they both understand that it's not malicious, and she does kinda back down as she does feel Zuko being tired and everything, she's sensitive like that, well, as long as she isn't totally sleepdeprived....  
> However, for the fact that she hates it when people force help onto her, in Zuko's case she got absolutely no qualms about doing it, that's her sense of justice kicking in, which is just another thing where she's very similar to Zuko.
> 
> ML8991: Wooo, another chapter revised, hope you guys continue to enjoy the journey. On characters, yeh, as ystv has said, trying to gauge Sokka and Katara has definitely been a challenge we have faced as writers, as they are good eggs beneath it all, but have had the Fire Nation be front and centre of much of their lives, and losing much to it. I hope we get to capture that, and in future chapters show the difference of feeling that both Sokka and Katara have towards the nation and its people.  
> As for Toph and Zuko, they are always a fun pair to write. Sadly (for the long game my side), Zuko is too distrusting of anyone that resembles his sister currently (i.e. younger than him, cocky on bending and intrusive), so we can't get the sibling bonding just yet, but I hope that it comes through in the future :).  
> And that leaves Aang. Sadly he doesn't get much show time, but I feel that is because this is a saga of self discovery for Zuko, though if you guys do want more of Aang to counter Zuko, please do say, as this is an area I do admit isn't touched on as yet. Otherwise, much to happen and see you guys on the next revised chapter :).


	4. A Name for Whom?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First, thanks for all the support this story has gotten! It's been amazing.
> 
> Just letting you all know: If you want to be warned and haven't read the tags yet, certain trigger warning tags are starting to apply from this chapter onwards...

Looking back, Zuko’s memory was really sketchy. He could remember his escape in fragments only, having no idea what had happened in between each segment. He remembered collapsing various times, being caught, stabilized, supported by Toph. He’d been fighting a losing battle against his body. Swaying and falling. Having chains keep his hands locked in the air day after day had taken a toll on his sense of balance and sapped at his strength. Toph had finally put an end to those who would watch quietly, forcing help upon him.

Feelings of slight panic when they had passed through the wall with no light illuminating the path. It had felt suffocating. Even once they were outside, Toph still allowed him no rest, pulling him along through the plains. Rain still fell insistently upon them, washing away at least some of the grime that had accumulated on Zuko’s skin. His hair dripped and the rags that served as his trousers stuck uncomfortably to his skin.

He knew he hadn’t run on their flight. Not once. He hadn’t had the energy for it. He didn’t think of the future, either, the now was challenging enough. And when Toph finally announced that they were there, he all but collapsed in front of Appa’s huge face, not really registering it anymore. Though when Appa grumbled and started licking him, Zuko’s muddled mind caught on to the unexpected weirdness quickly enough, trying to scramble away.

“Appa, let him be... Sparky, I suggest you change before you lay down to sleep, I’ve got some fresh clothes for you here.”

Zuko looked up tiredly, only a hint of surprise made it through the fog that was his mind.

“I won’t look, don’t worry.” 

“Ugh?”

00000

Toph finally sat below the earth shelter she had stamped out from the ground, looking over at a protective Appa who had tucked the sickly sleeping young man between some legs to keep him warm and safe. Sighing, she relaxed, and before she knew it, she had drifted off to sleep

The stillness of the night rattled with Zuko’s coughs. His sleep seemed ever restless and the thrashing roused even Toph quite a few times. Toph tried to ignore it all, feeling powerless to help. The boy, in a slight fever, had tried to get away from Appa’s suffocating heat, struggling weakly. Appa, however, had refused to let him roll very far away… as if he would let him go into the cold air and rain again.

Toph seriously doubted that his sleep had been recreative, she’d felt the night terrors, the panic that hit him more than once. Only at dawn he finally calmed down enough for her to dive into a light sleep.

00000

When Zuko finally felt the sun rise, he still felt drained, but he didn’t drift off to sleep again. Pain ran through his body in shivers. He just stared at the dawn and the girl lying curled up below some kind of earth shelter. The Avatar’s companion, Toph. Did she have any idea whom she just had rescued? He was doubtful about that, but tired as he was, his thoughts were sluggish. He thought of past interactions with the Avatar’s motley group, not looking forward to another confrontation, especially in the weak state he was in right now. There would be no avoiding it. His musings however were suddenly cut short by Toph’s cry.

“The others are coming… they’re running!”

Zuko looked up to see that Toph had straightened up, looking alert. Groaning, he pushed himself into a sitting position, leaning against Appa’s legs. Frowning, he looked for what she’d noticed.

He heard them first, though it still took more than a minute for him to do so, but soon enough, he could make them out with his eyes.

“Aang it’s just a little more… yeah, just over there” The voice of the Waterbender reached his ears, a moment later a disheveled airbender landed on his feet in front of Appa.

Zuko felt himself tense, the airbender had turned to Appa’s head as he was greeting him. How long had it been since he had seen the Avatar? Last time, he’d been on a single-minded mission in the heart of the Northern Water Tribe. It seemed a lifetime ago. Zuko felt goosebumps spreading on his skin, felt his heartbeat quicken. He barely registered what was going on around him, he couldn’t comprehend his reaction, nor why he felt the need to hide. Maybe it was the general haplessness lately that had led to this. He couldn’t recall how many times he’d just wanted to disappear, to be unseen. And he honestly didn’t want his enemy to see him weak like this. 

Wasn’t it ever enough? It wasn’t even these last weeks of being displayed publicly, it was his whole life. His father’s open and hostile dislike toward him. The court, which he’d never truly understood at all. And especially, when he had stood there, expecting that old general, in the Agni Kai, realizing whom he’d have to fight right then and there.

Afterwards it had only gotten worse. He knew, some people aboard his ship had not really respected him for a long time, but they had at least tried to hide it, at least after the first… incident. More openly shunned by his own people on Zhao’s ship, he’d held his head high, determined to prove himself that he still was a Prince, in principle at least. More so, he’d held his head high amongst enemies. It was impossible though. The last weeks had been the peak, his captors had slowly let him drain his energy, weakened his body systematically, and used him and his presence to let out their frustrations. He’d never felt this weak; never this helpless; Unable to change a thing about it.

“... on lockdown, we barely made it out. Good thing Aang is an airbender.'' From afar, Zuko registered the Water Tribemen’s voice, and words, absentmindedly noting their meaning. “… oh yeah hi Appa, yeah we missed you too, had a good vaca… you?!” The suddenly accusing tone made Zuko wince…

“What are you doing here?...” the voice turned away, “Toph, tell me you didn’t!”

The firebender held his head with his hands , the loud noise hurting in his ears . He was glad that Toph had provided him with clothing that included a hood. Never had fabric meant more to feel safe, he didn’t want to be seen.

“Sokka? What do you mean?... oh” Aang’s voice, then a breeze of air as someone landed lightly before Zuko’s feet.

“Hey guys, we should leave!” Toph was ignored by the others.

Aang had stepped closer and was taking in the poor condition of the person at Appa’s feet. The person was holding their head, covered by a hood, hiding their face. Aang stared at the uncovered wrists which showed a nasty collection of openly oozing blisters. Like the caring person he was, he stretched out a hand to comfort the boy.

“Hey, are you alright?” Zuko winced, and looked up at once. Blue arrows, the first thing he registered, and he remembered them glowing, memories crashing into him like Azula’s lightning. So when he felt something touch his arm, he just reacted, grabbing the arm and hurling the person away with unexpected strength. 

He was panting: “... Stay away… from me… Avatar!” The last word all but dripping with venom despite the cracking sore voice. “Stay away.” Zuko felt himself shaking, avoiding even looking at Aang.

“People, really, we should get moving. Twinkletoes, I’ll take care of Sparky, just get Appa ready, alright?” Toph grabbed Aang and pushed him towards the direction of the saddle. Zuko just curled in on himself again, trying to calm down, He ignored what was going on around him once more. He had no energy to keep track of his surroundings and the comfort of actual, dry clothes kept him in a rather sluggish state of mind. So he didn’t feel the Waterbender approach and was startled when he heard a voice so closely.

“It’s you from yesterday, did you thank Toph for the clothes?”

Zuko groaned, irritatedly, but pulled himself together for an answer. “I did, peasant.” He had no patience for her prodding, he just wanted to be left alone.

“Oh… good” Katara was startled. She hadn’t expected that response, and the last word awoke unpleasant memories. Seriously, were all Fire Nation people like this? Just as she reached that thought, Aang called for them to move, as he was going to airbend the saddle on Appa’s back.   
Reluctantly, their newest addition crawled out from below Appa’s feet, scrambling to his feet with difficulty. Katara was still looking at him, observing the colour of the skin on his hands. It was all an angry red from sunburn. Yeah, days standing in the hot sun without shade would probably do that to you, she mused to herself.

He seemed to observe Appa’s saddling, standing with his back turned to her, shivering in the wind,  hood up for protection . The weather had cooled down considerably the past night, and he didn’t look healthy at all. She supposed, as soon as they’d be in the air, she would do something about that, it was not like there was much else to do when flying and if she’d improve his health, then maybe he’d be less of a hindrance for as long as they traveled together. Though, she didn’t look forward to the attitude he had displayed up till now. She turned away and helped Sokka and Toph pack the last bits of their restocked supplies. Aang soon flew them up into the saddle to strap them down with Sokka’s help. When they were ready, Toph ushered the stranger up with the help of Earthbending, and assigned him to a free spot on the saddle. Katara, already seated, saw how he sank down, wincing when he leaned back against the saddle, repositioning himself, wincing more. He hadn’t spoken again and as Appa jumped off the ground after the usual yip-yip, the young man visibly tensed for a moment.

“Hey Sparks, you alright?” Toph asked gently, leaning over.

Katara only heard mumbling, something that could have been a “Leave me alone”. Toph indeed did quit bothering him though and started up a conversation with Sokka instead. Katara observed him for a few more minutes. His head hung low, the hood still drawn up. From what she could glimpse of his face, the skin there was sunburned as well, though not quite as badly as his hands. His face also showed a wide display on varying bruise-colours and swollen, contorted, features. Her eyes trailed further down, observing the obviously new clothing. She guessed the fabric to be a sturdy linen. A simple, long-sleeved kimono of a dark beige colour, the trousers, also long, a darker brown. Over that, he had a dark sleeveless overrobe which reached down to his knees and was simply held close to his body by an ecru-coloured sash, leaving the kimono below uncovered in the middle.  The overrobe also had a hood attached, which hid most of his face from view ... 

“It is rude to stare!” She startled. The thin body she had been observing hadn’t moved. He hadn’t turned his head to speak with her, but his raw voice had a poisonous quality to it.

“You’re not very polite yourself.” Katara replied, a bit miffed.

“So what? I didn’t ask you to rescue me.” he tersely replied

“Don’t you want to live? You’re lucky Toph did what she did, your attitude is appalling.” she sniped back snootily. 

He replied only after a moment: “I’m not so sure about that.” he said, voice worn, while moving to the ground to curl into himself, fully laying down now, appearing smaller in the process.

Just then Aang called out for her and she moved up towards Appa’s head.

00000

Zuko was glad for the distraction calling the Waterbender away, he didn’t want to be scrutinized again already. He was so very tired, his whole body itching and hurting. It hurt to breathe, and not only because his throat was raw. He was pretty sure he had at least some bruised ribs. And he was freezing, even though Toph had given him clothes and a blanket. Sadly, the clothes were irritating his wounds and sunburns. It hurt, but lately when his body parts weren’t asleep from uncomfortable positions, everything had always hurt, so it didn’t really matter anymore. Would he even feel alive with lack of pain? Why did blacking out evade him? Dreamless oblivion, it sounded so blissful right now. He felt sick, hating the feeling that Appa’s jump off the ground had caused in his stomach. The last few weeks had had him throwing up enough to last a lifetime. There, another shift in the air. He groaned miserably.

“Sparky?... want some water?”

Water sounded like a really good idea right now.

00000

Katara carefully made her way across the saddle and up to Appa’s head, sinking down next to Aang. She could see that something was eating up the twelve year old.

“What is it?”

It took Aang a moment to collect his thoughts and turn them into words: “He’s afraid of me… just what am I going to do Katara?”

Katara grabbed his hand, a calming gesture. “Hmm. I don’t think I can say much you don’t already know. But it will be fine. There is not much you can do except wait and prove him wrong, but you’re so kind, he just got to see that at some point, no?”

“I just don’t understand why. Tell me, what happened to him to make him this way?” 

Katara sighed by way of response. “He… well, I only saw him there once, I didn’t know Toph would actually rescue him. He was being publicly displayed on the market.”

“Why would anyone do that, and you didn’t plan on rescuing him, too?”

Katara was bewildered by Aang’s stance on this Fire Nation soldier, they had killed all his people and yet he would’ve wanted to save one of them. She was at a loss. She erred and scratched her head before replying. “No, Sokka and I didn’t think it would be a good idea to bring an enemy into our midst.”

“But he was hurt! How could you?”

“Aang, we can’t go rescuing puppies at every corner. What if Azula finds us again, what do you think a Firebender would do, he’d possibly even help capturing you. I just didn’t think of it as safe.”

“I didn’t think you could be so heartless, I mean, look at him, I’ve barely seen his face and wrists, but those are in bad enough shape. Anyway, we could always leave him behind somewhere, under someone’s care.”

“And have a repeat of what happened to him already? Pray tell who would take him and not harm him, despite his nationality?” Aang looked at her, a smile twitching in the corner of his mouth.

“I can easily think of someone… Iroh!”

“As if we just would run into him again in the next few days. and anyway, Iroh is on the run, not only from Azula but a fugitive just like this guy. And Iroh is searching for Zuko still.”

“Iroh would care.” Katara just shook her head, there was no point in continuing their discussion. Aang would not understand. And anyway, Toph had rescued him, so he was safe for the time being.

She could understand where Aang came from, no question. Still she couldn’t help but think she had been right with her  decision and her way of life. Taking on a captive could only cause complications : a captive was one too weak to defend themselves, and from a defeated party. They simply couldn’t afford that, taking a captive from the nation of their pursuers, but  it was no use to discuss that with a pacifist, so she kept herself from replying, only stared into the width of the landscape below them. 

00000

Upon Katara’s slightest touch, the boy jerked awake violently. Startled, she drew back. He had uncurled himself and sat up now, pushed up on his arms.

“What?” he snarled.

She only barely could make out his eye colour as golden, he held his eyes squinted, though she couldn’t make out if it was because of the bruises and sunburned skin, or the hood that cast his face in shadows. So she took the moment to further observe him, for the first time realizing just how much his condition contorted his features. She tried to see what he would look like anyway. His cheeks looked taunt despite the swollen bruising in places and his face was still quite dirty, though the rain had washed it off a bit. He moved, clearly impatient.

“Don’t touch me!” He was laying back down, she realized.

“Wait.”

He pushed up again, knitting his, wait…, was he missing an eyebrow?

“Stay away!”

“I’m a healer, you’ve got nothing to fear.”

He snorted, unamused. “You’re a Waterbender, we’re enemies.”

Katara hadn’t expected such ferocity. She’d have to figure out how to make him  acquiescent , and quickly, before he drew back into himself. “Fine. You’re our prisoner, I demand you let me check on your health!” 

His gaze grew a few shades darker.”You demand?” His voice lacked inflection, but his glare was pointed, distrustful. “I decline!” There was a final note in his words this time around. He turned away, but did not lay back down yet. She had a feeling, it was because he knew he couldn’t win, but didn’t want to be caught off guard. He straightened up to be able to look over the saddle border, his face contorted into a pained expression. The pain was more than evident in the way he moved too. He pulled the blanket closer, draping it over his shoulders. It was then that Katara’s brother came to her rescue.

“Firebender! You know Azula, right?”

The reaction to “Firebender” was nothing compared to the reaction to that name. He actually winced, eyes widening slightly, before Sokka continued.

“One thing I learned about her, besides her being overly talented and ambitious, is that she despises weaknesses. But she feeds off on it. Now… How do you think she would treat you, should you fall into her hands?” 

00000

Zuko shivered at the suggestion, images of his last encounter with his sister still vividly in his mind. He knew what Sokka meant. He was at his weakest, and while-- Sokka ended his pregnant pause, interrupting Zuko’s inner dialog. “And don’t even think of slowing us down to ensure the Avatars capture, nor that I will let Aang nor Toph save your sorry hide if you lag behind during an escape. So do us both a favour and let my sis do her job.”

The words made Zuko wince on the inside, his mind only slowly comprehending what Sokka had said. It made sense, but every fiber of his being wanted to refuse, already recoiling at the mere thought. He didn’t want to be touched, at all, by anyone. Nor did he trust them. However, and it bothered him a lot, Sokka’s words made sense. More than Zuko liked to admit.

“Since when do you call yourself a healer?”

There was the tiniest note of annoyance in her voice,as she replied, obviously not appreciating his doubt. “I was properly trained in the art of healing with Waterbending at the North Pole, by Master Yagoda herself.”

Zuko was quick to reply once more: “I don’t want to be your test subject.” 

He couldn’t help it but to fight against the proposal. His body showed evidence of things he’d rather bury and never be reminded of again. Not that that was possible. He doubted to ever be able to leave this shame behind. Even if everything healed without scarring, which he doubted, too, it would still haunt him in his nightmares. Just as it did after the Agni Kai.

He couldn’t afford to fall into Azula’s hands, however. And he realized, with his current options and resources, it would be nearly impossible to redeem himself in bringing the Avatar home. He simply wouldn’t get that far. Besides, after all that had happened, was there any way left to redeem himself at all? Was going home even an option? his thoughts spiralled dangerously morosely.

Exiled by his father, hunted by his sister, shunned by the Fire Nation because of his status as banished traitor, rejected by the rest because of his heritage as a firebender. At least the Avatar’s group hadn’t opposed him with the malice that everyone else had shown towards him, though Zuko supposed this was because of their naivety. They all were still children after all. Really, the only company he wished for was his uncle’s.

“... Hello, earth to you?...” He looked up, realizing he had been drifting off in his musings without even noticing that they had been in a conversation. “...I know what I’m doing. I won’t try something that I’m not sure will work. I promise.”

“Fine,”

He all but growled the word, though this time it took on a defeated tone. Why combat something that might actually benefit him, then put up a fight he couldn’t win. But he couldn’t just leave it at that, even so. Too many times his trust had been broken. “But I tell you, should you break your word, I’ll take revenge the next chance I get!”

“I can live with that for now… Alright, please take off your shirt, this works better with skin contact.” Zuko was less than pleased, but complied for now. It wasn’t as if they hadn’t seen his messed up skin before, well except maybe the Avatar. Still, he had learned to appreciate clothing, not only for the warmth, but also for the simple barrier it provided, keeping gazes at bay. He would have preferred to keep everything on, hiding the evidence of his weaknesses.

He knew that he wouldn’t be able to hide the pain, though he tried even so, when he took off his shirt. He knew they’d see his ribs, the whip marks, the gashes, the bruises and sunburns, and perhaps older wounds that the efforts of the market people couldn’t hide. None of the group commented on any of it however, though he was sure they were watching. He refused to look into their direction, afraid of the moment that they’d see his scar, they would recognize him.

“The water will start to glow in a moment, I’ll touch you and then the water acts as an extension of me, scanning your injuries before I start healing anything, alright?”

Zuko only nodded grimly. 

She took water from her pouch and just as she had said, it started giving off an ethereal glow around her hands, then she then laid her hands gently on his chest and he literally felt the waters push forward, entering him. It caused his breath to hitch, it felt strange and he couldn’t decide if it was in an invasive way or not. He decided that he didn’t like it either way. He felt her checking different areas, starting with his chest, he felt her check his arms, his head, then she went down to his belly and legs. Finally she held the water still, just around her hands at his chest.

“Well, you do have a lot of wounds. There are two bruised ribs, you’ve got a bad case of sunburn and the whip marks on your back, I can treat all of that. Your eye…”

“I know my injuries, you don’t need to list them off, and my eye, that’s an old wound, leave it be! It can’t be healed.” Zuko snubbed.

Katara ignored him, not thinking too much about the response. “I suppose I’ll start on your skin, turn around please, I want to start on your back.”

He did as asked and she set to work. “I won’t be able to do everything in one session, just saying.”

Zuko ignored the comment, bracing himself. He felt the relief of the healing with contempt, still not at ease with the idea of having a waterbender heal him.

“So what’s your name? Can’t keep calling you Firebender, can’t we?!”

She felt him chuckle humorlessly, feeling him tense at the pain it caused him to do so. Katara waited for the answer, but he stayed silent, after a while it was clear that he wouldn’t respond. She’d just ask again, then.

“What is…”

“What does it matter?”

“How can it not? It’s your identity, it’s who you are.”

“Is it really?... I’ll still be the firebender to you. It wouldn’t change a thing.” Katara paused momentarily, in shock that he would even question her statement, then set to answer, as she returned her focus back into healing him.

“It would be a first step to get to know you…”

“It would be the last! You wouldn’t look further ... no one ever does.” Zuko trailed off forlornly. 

“Ha,... your attitude certainly does not help.” Sokka commented smugly from his corner. Zuko tensed, then turned away, pushing Katara’s hand away in the process.

“Leave me alone, all of you!” He grabbed his shirt and quickly slipped it on before Katara could stop him, luckily drawing her water away before it pooled in the saddle. Curling into himself he pulled the hood over his head and the blanket over his shoulders, dismissing them entirely.

“Sokka, was that really necessary?” Katara asked as she released the water she had healed with, throwing it overboard. She looked back at the bundle that represented their newest addition. She saw the rise and fall of the blanket, which signified his breathing to be calm. He probably was asleep again, or nearly so.

She thought of his words. What had he meant with what he’d said? How did he identify himself if not with a name? And why would a name make all the difference. Sure, she wasn’t all that happy he was here, but now that he was, they might as well try to get along. On that, he really needed to wash properly the next time they stopped, his smell was more than just unpleasant.

There was another subject that held her attention though. He was in bad shape, He was more than a bit underweight for one, and his body had been fighting off infection. She was surprised that he had no blood poisoning, but she supposed he wouldn’t have lasted long, had that been the case. Still, various wounds were infected and drawing out infection was a tedious task. And she wasn’t even done with his back. Plus, there were more wounds than just on the surface

The bruised ribs she could understand, less so some injuries she’d felt lower down . It was very worrying, because she couldn’t imagine how those injuries came into existence. Was there something wrong with his digestion? She’d have to ask him. Also, his voice was worrying her, no doubt his throat was sore, and she could see varying reasons as to why. It was no doubt painful too, so she’d try to take care of it sometimes. She only hoped his attitude wouldn’t take a turn for the worse once he got his full voice back.

00000

Startling out of another set of horrid memories, repeatedly visiting in nightmares, he lay very still, trying to assess his whereabouts. They were still in the air, he could feel the breeze penetrating his clothes. Shivering, he pulled the blanket closer. He had to have slept a few hours, as the sun had changed position. He observed the happenings in the saddle carefully. Sokka seemed to be snoozing in one corner. Toph, bored out of her mind, was playing with a stone she had brought, and Katara seemed to be fixing some clothes, if the needle and thread that moved in and out of fabric were anything to go by. He slowly moved to sit up, biting back a groan as he put weight on his wrists. He dared a peek over the saddle border and saw that the landscape had changed considerably.

“You’re awake”

It was a statement and he didn’t turn around as she was just pointing out the obvious. He was still tired, though.

“You should eat something, we didn’t want to wake you up when we did.”

He turned around then.

“Not hungry” And he really wasn’t, though it faintly crossed his mind that he might just have gotten used to the feeling of hunger. It was hard to distinguish it within all the pain he was in.

“You should still eat. You need to give your body something to work with to heal.” She got up and pressed something in his hands, it was a slice of bread, still soft. Consciously, he took a bite.

00000

The next time, he woke through a soft jostling. “Hey, time to get up, Sparks!” Toph gently pulled him up, he followed her lead, still sleepy.

“Hey, Firebender, could you help start the fire?”

Zuko tensed.

“No”

Sokka looked up from where he was building up a fire pit.

“Why not?”

Zuko ignored him and carefully stepped down from Appa, standing on the ground on wobbly legs. He sat down a few meters away from the not-yet fire pit, facing the forest rather than Sokka, who had watched him critically.

“Hey, what do you think you’re doing?”

Zuko didn’t even look up, he only pulled his blanket closer.

“Who do you think you are? You might be a prisoner, but everyone’s got to pull their own weight in this group. You will be no exception Firebender, so come here and play your magic. I’m hungry.”

Still no reaction. Angry, Sokka got up to grab the object of his annoyance. He failed to notice Zuko tense at the approach. The violent recoiling, when he grabbed the other’s wrist was finally noted, but he paid it no heed, pulling the other up.

Zuko barely stumbled a step before he collapsed, hyperventilating, stuck in a fully blown panic attack, his legs refused to carry him.

“Woow, what’s going on with you?” Sokka had let go at the startling reaction, and now was staring down at a quivering body on the ground, breathing weirdly. Toph was already approaching fast.

“Sokka, what did you do?” She sank down to her knees next to the young man laying on the ground. She reached out to lay a comforting hand on his back, but the slightest touch caused him to squirm and try to move away. She could barely make out the words he whispered between gasping for air.

Katara, by now, had arrived at the scene, too.  “What is going on?... Toph, I don’t think you’re helping him calm down. Sokka, go make the fire.”

Toph had retracted her hand and now just sat beside him helplessly, unsure of what to do. Katara knelt down beside her, starting to talk in a calm, even, voice.

00000

Everything was in a haze, it was happening again. He had pulled his mind far away, into a safe corner within. Faintly, he felt himself breathing. Faintly, he felt the ground below, memories still flooding his mind of other things he’d felt before. Only slowly, his mind registered the lack of these. Was it over already? There were calm noises and he felt dizzy.

Time passed and he grew more aware, focus growing on the pattern of the noises, on the ground he touched. A hesitant realisation, he indeed wasn’t hanging from those chains anymore. He was laying on the ground, and nothing was happening. He needed to calm down. He grabbed the dust under his hands, holding onto it as if it was a life line, focussing on the sensation of his body weight against the earth. There was a voice, he realized now, talking to him. It was soft and gentle. Mother?

It promised safety. It told him to come back, to calm his breathing. It demanded his focus. It was a patient melody.

00000

Katara observed the breathing slowly calm down, frail hands twitching, grabbing what was on the ground. He barely moved otherwise, but she continued humming even so. In the end he was calm again, though the shivering hadn’t stopped yet. 

She waited another minute to be sure, then stopping singing, hoping he would be listening to her words in a moment, not only her voice.

“Can you get up now?” If she hadn’t been looking for a reaction so closely, she may have missed it, but it still took another minute, before he opened his eyes, slowly unfurling. Cold sweat had made more dust and dirt stick to his face, as Katara saw when he looked up. The amber eyes widened in recognition, however returned to a rather dull stare just a moment later. Energy obviously spent. Sluggish moves led to him sitting up.

“Toph, could you accompany him to wash up, down at the lake? I need to take care of cooking.”

“Sure, come on Sparks, let’s move.” Katara had gotten up and moved to one of their packages, searching for something in the twilight of the tilting sun. Sokka had finally managed a fire going, casting a tiny bit of additional light to the opening they were camping in. Katara had apparently found what she had searched for, returning to Toph who was currently supporting the taller boy next to her, as he still seemed rather unsteady.

“Here, a change of clothing, I’ll wash what you are wearing later.” Toph took them under her arm, then led Zuko towards the lake. Still a safe distance from the water, she let go of him and sat down.

“Go ahead, it’s not like I can see you undress anyway, muuuch too dark for that, so don’t worry about it.”

00000

The slow going travel down towards the water gave Zuko the time for quite a few contemplations. For one, he yearned to wash off all the dirt and grime, even though he didn’t feel like he could ever get clean anymore, anyway. On the other hand, he dreaded removing the mask of dirt that had apparently kept his identity hidden up till now. The bruises were slowly fading, the sunburned skin peeling, it was only a matter of time. He knew he wouldn’t be able to hide it forever, but couldn’t help to wish for it.

He faintly registered Toph letting go of his arm and plummeting down on the beach.

Her snarky comment left him reeling for a moment before it clicked. Right, she was blind. He suppressed a sigh, doing as she suggested. The water was cold to touch and he found his reluctance only grew with the prospect of that fact. Still, he slowly took more steps in, already shivering.

“Sparks, I’d advise you to do a thorough job unless you want Katara to throw a fit and help you out… just saying.”

Well there went that option, he’d much rather wash his face himself than have them reveal it, nor did he want to give them any reason to touch him.

Katara had given him a piece of soap to use, and so he hesitatingly dove under to wet his hair. It felt strangely freeing, even though the cold stung and the water burned in his wounds. He started to work with the soap, picking up the pace, starting to rub his skin raw, suddenly desperate. He’d never get clean.

The soap burned in his eyes, but the grime slowly washed off, leaving the reddish burned skin, as well as all the skin’s other unnatural colorations, in plain sight. When he was done, his legs had already gone numb from the cold. It had him stumbling towards Toph, who, politely facing away, had held out some kind of towel for him. He thankfully grabbed onto it, rubbing his skin raw once more.

“Hey, don’t kill that spot, you’ve been rubbing on it for like a whole minute!”

Mechanically he moved on, trying not to lose track of his thoughts again. The shirt handed to him exposed his arms, it was baggy on his skinny frame, and the trousers were even worse. He was glad that he had a cord to bind them to his hips. Once dressed, he sat down to recuperate. The whole exercise, as well as the panic attack, had thoroughly drained him and he didn’t feel like he could make the way back just yet. He grabbed the clothes he’d worn before and started to fold them, only to stare out on the lake afterwards, looking as the sky continuously grew darker. They had been sitting there quietly for a while before Toph suggested that they should return. He had no energy to argue, he simply got up, noticing how the trousers were an inch short as he felt the breeze caress his skin. His feet were unprotected anyway. Well, at least the constant standing on bare feet the past weeks had helped them to adjust. It didn’t hurt to walk on the gravel as it would have before. Then again… he’d grown so adjusted to constant pain, he might just not register it anymore.

They still had to take another break halfway back, because his legs wouldn’t carry him any further, though in the end, they made it back to the fireplace.

Zuko held his head down, self conscious of how easily recognizable his scar probably was now without the grime, and how much he wanted to hide it. He’d put the hooded garment back on. It hadn’t come into direct contact with his wounds, therefore he took it as still mostly clean. He was glad for the vision barrier. Sokka and Aang were discussing something apparently, though he hadn’t listened to what was being said until Sokka’s voice modulation changed.

“...Finally…. what took you so long? I’ve been dying to…. Hey those are my clothes…”

“Shut up Sokka, I gave them to him, I need to wash his’.” Katara’s voice sounded annoyed.

“you could have at least asked.” Sokka’s whiny voice didn’t make things any better.

“Eat, and shut up for once.”

“Finally!”

Katara held out two filled bowls for Toph and Zuko once they were seated. Now, not hidden below sleeves, his bony frame was even more apparent. She hadn’t been focussed on that when she’d healed him, as she usually closed her eyes to feel the water instead of getting distracted visually. Now she saw many dark marks on the skin on his arms, which she supposed were bruises. The darkness swallowed the red colour from the rough treatment and burns a bit, it however didn’t hide that the skin looked unhealthy. She saw clear marks where shackles had encased his wrists, the skin raw and partially blistered. Had the metal clasps gotten that hot in the sun? Probably.

He didn’t look at her when he took the bowl, in fact, he seemed to try to face away even more than before. The wet hair was barely touching his eyebrows yet, and most of his face was cast in shadows under that hood. He was shivering again, obviously still cold.

She remembered, she had made him leave the blanket behind when he went to wash up, and it didn’t help that his arms were now exposed in the slight breeze. Oh well, she couldn’t fix everything, he’d get the blanket back for sleeping. She turned away from him to participate in the lively discussion present.

00000

Zuko had turned away for a time, trying to get some of the fire’s heat onto his back, very reluctant to try to mess with the fire itself. He knew it was only a matter of time until he’d reach out, instincts overriding his fears. He wanted to feel, to connect to the fire, to absorb it, so it would make him a bit warmer. He however doubted the action would be taken kindly. Still, the fire drew him in. He couldn’t help but want to watch it, so when his front grew cold again, he turned to watch the flames once more. The others looked up when he moved, but paid him no further heed once he had settled back down.

00000

It took quite a while until Katara noticed something was amiss. Somehow the wood had started burning faster it seemed, though that sounded really silly to her ears. It took only a moment until she had thrown the Firebender a suspicious glance. However, he only sat there unmoving, so she left it at that and returned her attention to whatever Aang was saying.

It took another fifteen minutes until she glanced at the fire once more. Had it grown a shade more red? She shook her head, staring at the firebender again. She wasn’t even sure he had his eyes open anymore. Just then, she realized that he had stopped shivering. That was good, she supposed. She trailed his still frame with her eyes once more. Eyes halting on the still oozing wrists, she really should heal those soon. It was unfortunate that they had no bandages to, at the very least, protect open wounds. She hadn’t had a choice but to leave them, but it still felt wrong.

After a few more minutes of observing him, she decided to do it now, not really participating in the conversation anyway. It would be best for everyone if he got healthy fast.

“Hey Firebender…” The boy visibly winced, it was as if something had snapped and the fire flickered stronger for a moment. As she approached him, she noted him staring to the ground intently. He had grabbed the loose fabric of his trousers, clearly tensing as she got nearer.

“I thought we could have another healing session now, before going to bed.”

He barely looked up, then  only shrugged.

“What do you want me to heal?”

He merely held out his arm, not fancying having to take off the shirt again. Despite it being sleeveless, it was still warmer than being in the tender breeze without it.

She gently grabbed his hand and made him turn towards her. Then she opened her pouch and made the water glow. He tensed every time she touched him, she started drawing out infection from the open mess his wrists were in. The skin had been chafed off, and at some places indeed had blistered. The skin wasn’t quite as damaged as it would have been had it been a brand, but it was clear that it had been caused by the metal shackles he had worn. It crossed her mind that it must have been hell to wear them, probably still felt like hell whenever anything touched the open wounds. Well, she was about to change that. She searched his face for any reaction, most of the time healing was soothing, however there were things that were painful, drawing out infection could be one of them. But he had hidden his face in the shadows, lips pressed together in a thin line.

“I’m sorry if it hurts.”

“Just do what you have to.”

She hadn’t expected an answer, so she was mildly surprised that he was respondin g verbally despite the shape his voice was in.

He hadn’t looked up at all.

She continued. Letting her thoughts wander to what she had found this morning. The many welts on his back, the bruised ribs and the countless unhealthy discolorations on his skin. His raw voice, which of course hadn’t gotten better yet and other injuries that she had found inside his body. She wouldn’t ask about some of them so close to the group, though. After healing his wrists, she decided, she’d take a look at his throat. The first wrist was closing up already, scarring reduced to a minimum, the skin pink and unblemished.

“Here we go, doesn’t it feel better now? The other one, please.”

He held out his other hand and she continued healing. He was more relaxed now, faintly tracking her hand movements with his eyes. She noted that he was shivering again, though.

She finally let go of the wrist, throwing the used water away.

“Let me look if I can do anything for that sore throat of yours.” She was already lifting her hand with water to heal when he leaned back, head turned away.

“It will heal on its own.”

“Oh come on, it will be no trouble, calm down, I won’t hurt you..” She raised her hand again.

“No…”

She had stopped his words with gently touching his neck, sliding the hood off his head in the process. The action caused him to finally look up, wide eyed. Their eyes met and she couldn’t help but follow the now much more prominent jaw line, his straight nose, towards the contorted features as well as the scar tissue around his eye, though it now disappeared into the hairline. She recognized him, there was no doubt. In startled shock, she pulled back. He looked so different, cheeks fallen and ponytail gone, hair growing on all of his head now. But that scar, there was no second one like it, no doubt about that. How had they not recognized him before?

“Zuko?”

He had still been staring at her, but now he turned away, scrambling to his feet. It wasn’t in fear, there just wasn’t anything left to say, no reason to stay near the fire anymore.

“Zuko!...”

He turned around.

“Don’t bother, I’m going to sleep.” 

But the call had alerted the rest of the group and they all stared at him.

“No way.” Sokka said upon searching out his face. “... How could you just say nothing?! Hey where are you going? I don’t trust you!”

Zuko fully turned around, too tired to be dealing with this. “I didn’t ask you to.”

By now Sokka had gotten up too, and stepped up to him, Zuko took a step back.

“What do you think you’re doing?”

“I’m going to sleep…”

“Like I’d believe you. Is this a new way to get to Aang? Planning on sneaking away with him in the middle of the night?” Having his personal space breached once more, Zuko drew back again, stumbling slightly in the process. Sokka paid him no heed.

“No…”

Sokka made another step forward, lifting his hand. The Zuko he knew would block him, would never let a “peasant” hit him, and that way he’d show his true colours. The Zuko he knew had hunted them; he wasn’t weak, he was sneaky, and now he was in their midst. Just what had Zuko been expecting? Sokka raised his hand in the form of a fist in anger. As long as he, Sokka of the Southern Water Tribe, was here, he’d protect the group. And Zuko, Prince Zuko of the Fire Nation, would pay, he would pay for the trouble he’d caused them. Sokka however wasn’t prepared for the other to stumble backwards and fall to the ground as his fist striped his jaw. Sokka took another step forward, causing Zuko to shuffle away as well as he could in his daze.

“Sokka! Stop.”

The boy on the ground pushed himself up on his forearms, murmuring words that suspiciously sounded like ”Please, don’t hurt me” and “Stay away”. He was staring at Sokka with a mix between fear and apprehension, visibly shaking. He sat down on his feet, leaning forward.

Taking deep breaths to calm himself, he then presented his bare wrists. He remembered that those tying him up usually left rather quickly. The process of being bound, despite it being painful, usually had meant that they were done toying with him. Maybe Sokka would leave it at that, too. 

“By all means, undo your sister’s work and tie me up. Just let me sleep.” He sighed out.

Sokka, startled at this response, had finally halted his approach, Katara could already see his wheels turning to do just as their captive had suggested.

“Sokka, cut it out. He is in no shape to do anything, at all.” She had gotten up as well, and grabbed Sokka at the collar. Now she pushed him back towards his seat. Then she went to grab Zuko’s blanket. She was angry too, she felt deceived even though she knew he hadn’t really done all that much to hide.

“Sleep by Appa, he’ll keep you warm.” She shoved the blanket into his hands and turned around, returning to the fire without further notice. After some hesitation, Zuko scrambled to his feet again to follow her instructions. Faintly, he heard the others talking while he laid down.

00000

“That’s Zuko?... But he told me he had no ponytail!” Toph was probably puzzled the most.

“Must have cut it off.”

“But why didn’t you recognize him before?”

Katara sighed.  “His scar was covered with dirt.”

“His scar? how come you tell me he has a ponytail, but leave out that he is recognized by a scar?”

“Oh whatever” Sokka sighed. It was then that Aang finally spoke up.

“So what now?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ystävä: I remember being quite surprised at how well the chapter put itself together and actually turned out chapter-like, instead of just jumbled together scenes. The theme of how much knowing Zuko’s name would change the gaang’s perception really held it together. I think I knew I wanted to end with this scene, and that sparked the idea of Katara asking for his name, not entirely sure though, maybe I just thought it was time to address names anyway.  
> I also remember ML helping me through writer's block and generally improving the content with his input. I think this was also the first chapter I asked him if he wanted to say anything. Those were the beginnings of his transition into his role as co-author :)
> 
> ML8991: Hey guys, back once more in the future. Do be warned, we’re starting to get into some trigger territory, so be careful when reading. Otherwise hope you enjoy this chapter as much as we did, lots of discussion back in the day was made to try make this work as well as we could for you guys, with the ideas we wanted to broach into. It indeed feels like old ground going back to this chapter, but it brings in a lot of the threads that we wanted to, most notably identity and perception of that identity. It is going to be a rough ride, for those of you on AO3, but it is an exciting one to explore. On the topic of going back though, given where we have got to writing ourselves, it is great as an author to get that feeling of character growth, and I hope you avid readers get that also :). Thank you for sticking with us, and we look forward to continuing the story further. See yo


	5. Bridges and Walls

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all very much for the feedback and enjoy the chapter :)

The sun had already risen somewhat when Katara returned from the world of dreaming. Not to mention, she hadn’t rested easy. Zuko’s presence definitely made her nervous, even though the more reasonable part of her said that he was harmless right now. Somehow her instincts didn’t match up with that, even though Zuko hadn’t shown any violence to them since Toph brought him from the town. Therefore she was quick to get up and go check on their prisoner. He definitely was their prisoner now, his identity had chased away any doubts about that.

The Prince was still curled up between Appa’s legs, it didn’t look like he had moved much during the night. Nor did he look anywhere near awake, being still without so much as a murmur… Shrugging, trying to ignore her enemy sleeping mere feet away, she went on with the typical mundane morning routine after throwing a glance to Aang meditating a few meters away. The tiny bit of normalcy gave her a bit of security in such unusual circumstances.

Gathering a bit more additional firewood, since they had used up more than expected yesterday, Katara set about trying to get a fire started for washing. Water quickly went into the kettle. She remembered that there were still Zuko’s clothes to be washed and thought that she might as well do it now, since she had to wait for the water to warm anyway. Quickly, she took the small, tatty pile of dirty clothes and took them down to the lakeshore. Whilst scrubbing the clothes, she thought about how the spare clothes of Sokka’s he currently wore, would need to be washed again now too. She knew that some of his wounds still weeped and such, making the loose clothes he had worn grimey and unhygienic, and also unpleasant to wear for more than a day. Once more, Katara wished the group had bandages. Really, she should try and get all his wounds closed at least, then she wouldn’t have to worry about these things anymore. She swished the clothes through the water, a smile tugging at her lips at her calling upon her abilities. Washing as a waterbender was, thankfully, an easy feat and she was quickly done.

Returning with the clean and dry pile, she noticed another person sitting, huddled, by the fire. It was Zuko. Great, gone were her peaceful morning hours, she mentally groaned. Why was he up already anyway? He’d looked rather asleep earlier. Eyes closed and huddled as he sat, he looked very unlike the Zuko she’d known. His meagre blanket was wrapped tightly around his shoulders as if he was cold. He was turned towards the fire. Apparently he’d heard her approach, since he looked up, eyes wide and even though he didn’t move, she had the feeling he was drawing back into who knows where somehow.

Looking over at her sleeping brother, and with Toph still out cold as well, she decided she might as well take care of Zuko’s wounds right now, breakfast could wait. Aang would only come over for food once she went to wake the others anyway, so there was no rush and it would be something else off her ever growing list of things to do. Zuko had returned his gaze to the fire and she stared at his sunken cheeks and hollow gaze. He really didn’t look like himself, he looked plain unhealthy.

“Zuko,” she called, “Is it ok if I heal you now? I’ll give you your clothes back after I finished with closing the last few open wounds. Please don’t run away this time.” she finished lamely.

Zuko was shivering again, but much to her surprise, started removing Sokka’s shirt so she’d have access to his back. She saw the infected areas clearly, amongst other, older scars that couldn’t be explained by his recent ordeal, ones that she knew she wouldn’t be able to heal. Quickly, she called upon her water. She held it to his back, not really taking into account that it must be freezing for him still as it had just come from down the lake. He flinched, but other than that, he didn’t react, she was disturbed to note.

00000

She didn’t waste any words on describing the process this time, she had explained it last time after all, and coupled with her not truly being a morning person, Katara didn’t feel like talking much anyway… even less so now that she knew who she was healing.

Starting to draw out the infection, she let her thoughts drift. She was by no means absent-minded, she was as focused on healing as much as necessary, but that didn’t keep her from going on a mental excursion, healing was tedious but rewarding work.

Where were all the wounds she’d need to close? His wrists were done, she’d seen to that yesterday, she’d need to check the rest of his arms though. There were some infected scratches on his chest as well, if she remembered right. The bruising on his belly was superficial and could wait. His feet would need attention though, as would his ankles and knees. Way too much to do in one session, she thought defeatedly.

Her thoughts wandered to the less urgent wounds, quickly going back to the peculiar injuries she had found. She looked around, all were still either asleep or meditating a distance away… in a way they were alone. She would ask about those now, she decided, and with a quiet voice so no one would overhear.

“Eehm, yesterday when I examined you…. I uh… found something I wanted to ask you about.” Zuko didn’t reply, but she knew he had heard her since he’d tensed up when she started. Hesitantly, she continued.

“Uh… your… ehm how should I say.. behind… er, your intestine track… injuries inside…” She felt Zuko freeze in understanding what she was asking. “... how?”

The silence around him grew heavy and stretched. Was he lost in thought again? She had asked him a question. Waiting still, she moved to the next welt on his back, feeling him flinch again. “I asked you a question?!”

Still nothing…

“Zuko?”

Slowly, she felt him break free of the frozen state he seemed to be in and twist around to look at her. He didn’t dislodge her healing, he just turned enough so she caught the look in his eyes. He looked away quickly, but she had seen the uncertainty, the not quite fear, but something equally strong. And she realized: He wouldn’t reply. She felt him withdraw, quite literally, even though he’d only moved back to facing the fire in front of him.

She didn’t understand, but couldn’t bring herself to prod further, it had been clear that he knew what she asked about, despite her awkward wording. He seemed oddly frail at that very moment, nothing like the brash and bold boy she’d fought only weeks ago at the North Pole. She focused back on healing, suddenly taking note that there was a weird tingling in her fingers, one which she had missed before, that seemed to emanate from Zuko.

00000

He wanted to leave, only her warning kept him in place. He felt himself shaking. The healing hurt some, though he could feel that it was making him better. Her invasive question had shaken him and he refused to acknowledge anything related to it. He focused on the pain, the slow push and pull he felt from her bending. It was unpleasant, but it served as a good distraction. He then focused on inside, feeling for the fire, feeling it resonate with the flames in front of him. He was grateful it was there… The little flame within him was already growing stronger. Growing steadier. He let the fire’s presence feed it, rekindle the inner flame, caressing it, guiding it. It felt freeing.

00000

She surveyed his shoulders, they looked much better already, but they were still an angry red. They were peeling, and really needed some more healing in order to calm down the irritated, and in some places burned, skin. She had healed most of the blistering on his back already, his upper back had been the worst along with his shoulders. After finishing with that area, Katara moved to his face.

“I’m done with your back. Please turn around.”

He seemed to snap back to reality as she released the dirty water, throwing it away. She pulled out a fresh water globe, realizing she’d need to get more to close all of his wounds. She stared at his frail looking chest, he really was too thin, bones sticking out at all the wrong places. Observantly, she went to heal those open scratches. It looked like someone had drawn blood with their nails. She could feel his breathing, actually she could feel his heart beating, too. Rather fast in fact. She looked at his face, but he didn’t return the gaze. He actively kept looking away.

Upon closer inspection, it was apparent his lips were dry and split in multiple places in a way that didn’t look healthy at all. It looked rather ugly and surely must hurt to move them, the few times that he had spoken to them, that is.

“I’m going to heal your lip. It looks very painful. Don’t dare bite me!” Zuko looked up, clearly confused when she raised the glowing hand up to his lips. “Relax, don’t press your lips together.”

At least this awkward part was done quickly.

“I need to refill my waterskin. Your knees and feet are next, so please be ready when I get back.”

Zuko tiredly tried to get up and moaned in agony when his legs disobeyed him and pain shot through his body. Though he’d grown accustomed to his limbs falling asleep, it didn’t ever make the experience a pleasant one. He stretched his legs and then started to roll up his pant legs, carefully peeling the fabric off some wounds it had stuck to. He winced slightly at the process, revealing openly festering wounds.

He hated healing, he decided. At least she seemed to not like touching him either, and her routined movements brought some calm into the matter. He heard her come back and draw in a shocked breath when she saw his legs. Yeah, they weren’t pretty... he knew. He just hoped it would be over soon.

00000

She hadn’t expected it to look quite this bad, suddenly she was glad to only have looked at his wrists at night where she felt, rather than saw, the wound and its healing. Both his knees were torn open and bloody, she’d felt that it was bad already when she had scanned him, but it looked even worse in the flesh. The ankles were chafed raw, though not quite as bad as his wrists had been, and well his feet… He’d been standing on them barefoot in an unforgiving environment, that was sure. She had no clue how he could walk on them... she had felt multiple splinters and such. Maybe he was just lucky that they hadn’t hit a nerve. Only when she took one foot into her lap, ignoring his quiet hissing when she made him stretch his leg, she finally saw the thick layer of calluses he had on his soles. They had clearly been there before the fiasco on the market square.

She still drew out the splinters, even though knitting the skin back together on his ankles and knees had left her exhausted. At least now it was done. None of the wounds should be causing infections to worry about. She sighed and got up… time to move on with the day… 

“Here are your clothes… go change somewhere I can’t see.”

As he quietly got up and left, she started preparing food for breakfast.

00000

He returned with firewood in his arms. Not a whole lot, but the gesture surprised her. She hadn’t expected him to do anything to help them, to her it would have been more likely for him to run off, now that they knew who he was. Well, she wouldn’t say no to a bit more firewood, she had other things to worry about. Namely, waking up the two lazy bones. Food would be done in a few minutes, so they better be up by then. Zuko had settled down next to the fire again, she noticed as she called out:

“Sokka, Toph, time to get up!”

Toph moved, Sokka didn’t. Quickly, she went over to shake him awake. Toph was already sitting up, which Katara had hoped to be the case, as they really had gotten to sleep in today. It was a funny sight, Toph’s hair was in a phenomenal state of disarray.

“So-kka” She grabbed his shoulders to gently shake him, he however simply turned away, always the same with him.

“How about a quick morning shower Sokka, you up for it?” She asked sweetly.

“Sleeping, maybe later sis.” The slurred way spoke volumes on how awake he actually was.

“Fine, I didn’t say you’d have to be up, that part was your choice.” She let the icy cold water she’d been holding drop into Sokka’s unexpecting face. The reaction was rather immediate.

00000

A few minutes later, they all were sitting around the fire, and Sokka, water steadily dripping off his face, was in a rather sour mood. Unfortunately for Zuko, he appeared to be Sokka’s target to let off some steam.

Katara had been filling the bowls and handing them out when Sokka made his move.

“Thank you Katara!” Aang said enthusiastically, and the others agreed, murmuring. Frowning, Katara realized that this had included their newest addition to the group.

“So…” Sokka opened his mouth in a mocking tone. “How is His Royal Highness feeling today?”

Zuko merely looked up, unwilling to participate in this conversation, before focussing back on his meal. This had not been the kind of response Sokka had expected.

“Hey, I asked a question! You think you’re too important to answer me? That’s so silly. It makes me laugh… Seriously, think about it… You were just hanging there, left there, they didn’t treat your wounds… You weren’t even guarded. That’s how important you were. Really, it's hilarious.”

Zuko looked up again, but he averted his gaze quickly when their eyes met. 

“Hey, I’m talking to you!” 

“Sokka, knock it off and leave him be.” Toph’s voice carried her annoyance well enough. Aang agreed quietly.

“What? He could at least say something. But no, he has to act all high and mighty and ignore me!”

“And what should he say? You’re looking for a fight.. do it with someone who will actually fight back!”

“So now you’re on his side? You have no clue how he treated us, Toph.”

“And now you want payback? Then Sokka, you are no better than you think he was, so shut up!” Toph said, her words brokering no argument.

00000

Katara observed how Zuko drifted off to sleep as soon as they had taken off into the air. She decided that this might indeed be a good time to get some more rest herself, the healing process had exhausted her too, after all.

At noon she felt rested once again… Zuko did not seem to be. He was easy to wake up, actually he pretty much startled awake as soon as someone touched him. He didn’t appear to be overly aware of the happenings around him though. She decided now would be a good time for lunch, so she gave out the rations so they would not need to land.

“Hey Jerkface, hand me the meat, would you?!” Well, there came Sokka. Peaceful time - goodbye… 

Katara was surprised, when Zuko actually straightened up to grab the meat package and handed it to Sokka without a word. Sokka seemed surprised, too. Katara realized belatedly, he had not made any eye contact throughout the whole meal.

00000

Zuko heard Toph approach, he once again lay curled in his corner while they were flying. He only unfurled though, when he felt her sink down next to him.

“What do you want?” There was no use pretending to be asleep, this girl knew better, he could tell.

“Zuko, right?”

Zuko merly mumbled in confirmation, not really feeling up for this.

“How are you holding up?”

“Leave me alone”

Toph chuckled lightly at that, then said: “I hate flying, makes me really feel blind, you know.”

“So what?” This conversation was irritating, Zuko decided.

“So I am bored out of my mind.”

He groaned. “I’m not entertaining you!”

“Yes you are! Very much so.”

“Leave me alone.” He turned to face away from her.

“Your range of vocabulary always astonishes me, Sparky”

He didn’t reply to that. They were both quiet for a while, the silence surprisingly companionable for Zuko, he decided to enjoy it while it lasted. These times always passed too quickly anyway. He stared down onto the landscape below.

“What do you see?”

“Earth.”

“Oh come on Sparky, you’re being no fun.”

“No” Zuko turned back to face the middle of the saddle, feeling the cool breeze brush over him. He tugged his blanket tighter. Toph was calmly sitting next to him. It was a whole while until she spoke again.

“Hey Sparky… they told me you’ve got a scar, may I _‘see’_ it?”

“No!” he shuddered out defensively. Toph didn’t press to try figure out why, she simply stayed next to him, saying nothing more at the moment.

00000

They landed sometime late in the afternoon in order to set up camp whilst there was still light. They had landed in a valley surrounded by high, rocky, cliffs. There was a waterfall and a pool, which would be handy for bathing and washing, and there was lots of plant life around it… a bit further though, the plant life didn’t seem to rely on the pool for water, looking well adjusted to the rather dry conditions of the rest of the area. Katara was surprised, she had never seen plant life survive without water. Toph lay in the dirt the moment she got off Appa, looking like she was embracing it. Zuko just stood there, looking kind of lost, observing the others as they set up camp. He had discarded the blanket momentarily, probably taking in the natural warmth the sunlight provided. He seemed more awake now, Katara observed on the sidelines while she was busy unpacking. She didn’t notice when Zuko walked away.

“Hey, where’s Zuko?” Sokka’s voice carried over as he rounded the corner, firewood in his arms.

“Ah, he’s taking a leak over there somewhere.” Toph called over her shoulder. “Don’t worry, I’m keeping an eye on him.” Katara quickly came to when she realized with a start that Zuko wasn’t where she had seen him, she hadn’t even heard him go away, dang he was quiet. Oh well, least Toph knew where he was. She started up the fire with Sokka’s wood while Sokka went off once more to see if he could catch something to eat.

When someone dropped an arm full of branches next to her, she expected that Aang had returned with his share of firewood and was therefore quite startled to find Zuko there. He really was light on his feet, much like Aang, she again hadn’t heard him come at all, it was a little unnerving to think that the Prince could seemingly appear from nowhere.

“Oh… thank you” she said, before standing up to head to the pool.

“You’re welcome.” He quickly stepped away, his form moving into the evenings growing shadows.

00000

When Katara returned with some water for cooking, Zuko had returned to sit by the fire, poking at it with a spare stick. Toph was there too, having finished her share of the camp duties for the moment. Zuko’s eyes tracked her movements as she set up the tripod and hung the pot between. He had stopped his probing, but he still held the stick loosely. As she watched, she saw the embers at the end of the stick pulsate slowly. Observing him closer, she noticed the rhythm was matching his breathing.

So he was bending it. She was surprised at the subtlety, the care he showed while doing it. Thinking about it, he had probably also been bending the fire before, apparently without any of them noticing it. It surprised her… She’d only seen him do flashy moves before the North Pole, using his bending to attack them, never for this. She realized that they never had told him anything as to what to do or not… Sokka would probably not like the idea of him bending, and while she wasn’t fond of it either, she could see that he clearly suspected them not to allow him to bend, searching for a way to sneak it by. And he was doing a really good job at it too, he was actively trying not to antagonize them. Not knowing what to do with that information, she continued her work, cutting the vegetables into small pieces and adding them to the pot’s contents.

Aang returned, bringing some more wood. Sokka took longer, but he had apparently managed to catch a rabbit which he proudly presented to Katara. Sokka skinned it and prepared the meat, then handed it over… She thanked him as she put it into the stew after putting a vegetarian portion for Aang aside.

Sokka stepped a couple of meters away to practice with his boomerang after that. Katara took note how Zuko’s eyes seemed to track him as he left to train. She’d never expected Zuko to be this quiet… She realized he’d barely said anything the whole day. The only real conversation had happened when Toph had gone to bother him.

00000

Zuko observed the Water Tribe boy as he repeatedly threw and caught his weapon, unconsciously imagining how he’d have to move in order to recreate the technique. He never had had the chance to observe so thoroughly how these kids fought, and in any case, it would be good to study it while he could. Though he didn’t see the tribesman as much of a threat skillswise, he knew the tool was a formidable weapon, and Sokka was a master at wielding it, he mused, as his head throbbed in the ghost of memory.

“Hey Aang, let’s start your earthbending lessons tomorrow morning, it seems here is a good place to start, don’t you think?”

“That would be great. And we can easily practice waterbending here, too. Katara, wanna train a bit tonight?”

“Sure, that’s a good idea. Let’s practice the octopus stance!”

“Sounds good to me!” Aang said with surprising enthusiasm. Zuko turned back to watch Sokka, when the conversation merged into less interesting subjects. The boy had stopped throwing his boomerang and now seemed to go through some fighting stances… Zuko wondered where he’d seen the moves before… Sokka had clearly learned them well, but without a teacher to correct him, he could see how the stance easily deteriorated and became faulty. He could already see it happening. He surely would always be better than he’d been when Zuko had first met him… but it was clear that he’d have a hard time to get better the way he was training now…

00000

As Katara and Aang returned from their successful training, they could hear voices carrying on the wind.

“Hey Jerkface, so how'd you end up _there_?" Sokka asked. Katara and Aang soon found out that the rest of the group were sitting around the campfire, and Sokka was wandering around Zuko, as if to try and suss him out. Zuko didn’t reply… he was staring into the fire, appearing calm. Sokka took another step forward. "Earthbenders caught you? Your fire not strong enough to keep them off?"

“Sokka, stop it.” Toph said from her corner leaning over into Zuko’s space. Sokka ignored her.

Katara stepped closer, Aang quickly following. Sokka hadn’t noticed them yet…

“I asked you a question!”

Zuko kept on intently staring into the fire, ignoring Sokka. Katara could now see his eyes, the typical soft gold had hardened into something cold and harsh, shut off from both world and body.

“Also, why didn’t you firebend when I asked you to, yesterday?”

Toph grabbed Zuko’s arm, feeling him itch to jump up. 

“No fire today either? Did you lose it or something?”

By now Zuko was visibly shaking despite Toph’s best efforts to calm him. Sokka continued on regardless, seemingly unaware of what he was about to unleash. 

Katara held Aang back, just as he was about to rush in… She shook her head. They could almost hear the tension crackling in the air and she was surprised the firepit still seemed untouched by Zuko… it looked completely normal, too normal...

“You’re right, I wouldn’t want you to go around shooting fire even if you could. Your nation are all murderers. It cost me Yue, it cost me my mom. It caused my dad to go away to fight in the war, leaving me and Katara to lead a tribe of what, thirty women? Because your nation decimated us, we had nothing. All they had to defend them was me.” Sokka, by this point, was shouting, ignoring the exiled Prince until it was too late.

“You want to see fire? I’ll give you fire!” roared Zuko, his voice rising in volume as he pushed himself off the ground. The firepit soared with him, raising a good twenty feet into the air, and for one second, it seemed his tactic had worked, Sokka’s mouth stopped working as he gazed in fear, until blue turned as cold as ice and his hands closed on the taller boy’s tunic in a vice-like grip.

Katara and the others stared wide eyed as the boy in Sokka’s grip grew rigid, and then limp, all fire gone out in him like someone had doused him with cold water and cut his joints one by one. 

They were suddenly cast into darkness as the fire died with him. Zuko had been thrown to the ground. He didn’t try getting up, just laid there unmoving, flaccid, passive. Sokka moved, taut, aggressive. He quickly landed a decisive kick to the fallen boy’s unprotected gut, making Zuko groan in pain.

“Sokka stop it!”

Katara was yelling, too, but Sokka didn’t stop. He lifted his foot, and placed it heavily on Zuko’s shoulder, pressing him down until he wasn’t lying on his side anymore, but on his back, breathing harshly against the pressure applied to his chest and shoulder.

Sokka kneeled down, whispering in the Prince’s ear: “Not so tough now, are you, Jerkbender?” Having pinned the taller, yet defenceless, teen under his knees now, he raised another fist, and brought it down hard, into Zuko’s face, connecting squarely with his nose.

Instantly, blood marred the Prince’s face, providing Sokka a grim sense of satisfaction. He had no time to reach up and land another blow however, because water snaked around him, pulling him away. Sokka screamed in rage to which Katara responded with dropping water over him, she looked furious.

“Sokka, just what was that?” Katara yelled, staring at her brother less than pleased.

“Katara, calm down, yeah just calm down… Let’s discuss…” Sokka gulped as he saw how mad Katara was, the icy flint of his eyes moving to hers.

00000

Toph rushed to Zuko’s side as soon as she had somewhat recovered from the shock, desperately trying to make sense of what had just transpired. Zuko had returned to lying on his side, curled inwards. He was retching roughly through the mouth, but nothing came out. Toph could sense liquid drop onto the earth, around where she figured was below his face. Drops left a distinct shape in the dust.

“Sparky?” Zuko didn't move…. She felt Aang gently land next to her.

“Zuko, are you okay?” He gently asked, skirting around the edge, almost hovering.

Zuko’s heart was beating rapidly and Toph wondered if the liquid that kept dripping down were tears or blood. Whatever it was, it was falling quickly. The smell of salt and metal was in the air. 

“Hey Twinkle Toes, think you can clean up Sparky, he don’t feel so good?” Toph said, her voice wavering, clearly worried. 

“Well, I can try? What do you think is wrong with him?”

“Aside from acting really weird? I think Sokka hit him in the face, I’m not sure, but he might be bleeding bad, lot of stuff on the floor… hard to get a fix on it Twinkles.” 

Aang leaned forward, trying to get a better look at Zuko’s face. The moon didn’t provide all too much light however and Zuko had drawn his hands close to his face, almost as if he were trying to hide. Still hesitating, Aang reached out, pulling back just as quickly, when Zuko’s violently flinched away. The boy moved to curl up even more, closing himself up completely.

“He doesn’t want me to see!”

“You barely tried. and your touch is really light sometimes… it’s tickles.”

“Toph, I don’t think that is the issue. I think he’s scared.”

“Well, we can’t just do nothing!”

Aang shifted next to her uncomfortably, but then decisively reached forward again.

“Alright, I’ll try…. Zuko, Can you hear me? Are you bleeding?”

Still no response.

“Zuko, I need to check your face.” 

His fingers touched Zuko’s wrists gently, trying to pull them down carefully, ignoring another wince. Zuko tensed, and his breathing quickened, and he certainly didn’t let his hands be pulled down, but stubbornly tried to hold them where they were. Aang abruptly let go.

“It looks dark, I think it is blood.” Aang whispered, aghast at the gore. Toph perked her ears, hearing whispers from the boy laying on the ground before them. Then Zuko coughed once again, before returning to breathing harshly through his mouth a moment later.

“Sparky?” Toph grabbed his shoulder gingerly, ignoring Aang who was apparently searching for something. A moment later, he returned and grabbed Zuko’s hand again, pressing a piece of cloth into the Prince’s slack fingers, leading them back to the source of bleeding. He tried to get Zuko to press it against his face, but failed as Zuko squirmed, groaning in protest at the invasive action. Toph felt his heart rate spike again.

“Twinkle toes, this isn’t working, I think he is panicking, his breathing’s all off, we need to get Katara over here.”

Aang knew it was bad when Toph called Katara by name, so he rushed over.

00000

“... clearly not trustworthy. He bent the fire in my face.”

“I don’t care… just look at him. He’s…”

Aang’s reluctant nature had not had much effect to stop the argument from continuing. 

“Katara, could you come over, please?” Toph’s voice carried over, causing the siblings to still. Katara took a moment to collect herself, Toph had called her by name? What had happened, for Toph to be this distressed? She got up, ignoring her brother's protests for the moment, and knelt down next to Toph, finally taking in the scene in front of her properly.

Zuko’s condition still hadn’t changed from when Sokka had left him on the floor, she noted. For all of Toph’s and Aang’s limited efforts, he was still in a bad state. 

“Oh…” Katara threw a look over her shoulder, shouting at her brother: “Sokka, get the fire going, now!” Then she started to speak in a calm voice, to try and calm her clearly distressed patient…

She kept up the calm chatter, only taking him in with her eyes. She remembered the last time she had tried to touch him when he was like this, and knew therefore that it wouldn’t help. She saw blood smeared across his face and hands. What she saw of his nose didn’t look all too pretty, either. More time passed and Zuko finally started to calm.

By the time Zuko finally opened his eyes, Sokka had managed to get another fire going which cast a deceptively gentle light onto the clearing. Katara waited another moment before restarting to speak.

“Zuko? I need to take a look at your nose, will you let me?”

He stared at her distrustfully, golden eyes looking more feral than human, then he closed his eyes momentarily, tired, defeated. Katara gently held out her hand, carefully lifting his chin, turning it to see the nose from different angles. At least it didn’t look broken.

“Zuko, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. I didn’t expect my brother to do this. I’ll heal it now, is that alright?” She one-handedly uncorked her waterskin, and drew out the amount needed for healing. Zuko held still. Very still. Eyes wide open. But he didn’t panic again as he haltingly made one, stiff, nod. She quickly went to work and lowered both her hands as soon as she was done.

The others had watched the whole process and now slowly scrambled to their feet. “Come, let’s go back.” She didn’t present her hand, as she knew he wouldn’t take it anyway.

“...No… I think I’ll go to sleep.” he murmured. “Thank you” he continued, a small, hesitant smile on his face, before he winced as he pushed himself up and turned away from the group, obviously needing time alone.

“Maybe you could take a walk… if you’re up to it?” She quietly called out after him. He briefly turned around, lowering his head slightly in resignation before changing course and disappearing behind some rocks a moment later.

Soon, the rest of the group had gathered around the campfire again.

“So, Sokka, how do you explain beating up a guy who didn’t even fight against it?” Toph asked rather coldly.

“Says the one who just stood on the sidelines… why didn’t you stop me then?” Sokka sneered, his voice a farce, as Toph felt his heartbeat going a mile a minute.

“I did, I told you to stop, anyhow how could I know he’d just freeze up. I thought he’d at least sidestep you!”

“So what!?”

“Hey Folks, let’s focus. Sokka, could you explain how we ended up with this?” Katara asked.

“Well, Snoozles provoked Zuko until he exploded… giving Snoozles reason to beat him up… and that’s pretty much it.” Toph interjected before Sokka could say anything.

“I didn’t. I simply asked him some questions.”

“...’ _you’re right, I wouldn’t want you shooting fire even if you could_ ’...” Toph imitated the phrase in a childish voice. “...that sound like a question to anyone?” 

“I didn’t say it like that!” Sokka shouted angrily.

“Yeh, you did... you mocked him.”

“People, could we keep this peaceful?” Aang asked, but was more or less ignored.

“I don’t trust him… and I had to check if he really couldn’t firebend right now.”

“That doesn’t mean you had to make him explode to find that out! If you would have just observed a bit more closely, you might have even witnessed him do it.” Katara finally responded, snapping crossly.

“Yeah Snoozles… not so perceptive, are you?!”

“Well sorry for being concerned… of course you wouldn’t understand Toph… you’ve never been hunted by Zuko!”

“Keep it down… both of you!” Katara said, annoyed, her anger deflating. “...So, Toph, are you actually saying that Zuko didn’t do anything until he exploded? I’m sorry, but I find that hard to believe. Sokka wouldn’t just prod and poke without reason.”

“Maybe the reason was in Sokka’s mind… not in Zuko’s actions? And yes, that is exactly what I’m saying… all Zuko did was sit there, staring into the fire… trying to not rise to the bait, I might add.” 

Katara didn’t reply, considering Toph’s words. Everyone was quiet for a moment.

“So, what now?” Aang finally asked. The question didn’t help to lift the somewhat stifling atmosphere. It took a while for anyone to reply.

“I don’t trust him. I mean, right now he is who knows where, and can come and go as he pleases, even at night. How are we supposed to sleep like that.” Sokka whined.

“Actually. He is just over there… sitting in the stream…” Toph outlined, pointing vaguely behind her. “And Snoozles, you can sleep under any circumstances, you’re not fooling anyone.”

“Hey, I resent that remark. But Katara, you must see that he isn’t safe. That fire… whatever you call it, was out of control. We need to control him, if only until we can find a better solution.” Sokka pleaded.

Katara stayed silent, but Aang spoke up “Exactly Sokka, Master Jeong Jeong said as such, fire will spread and destroy everything in its path, if one doesn’t have the will to control it. If we can contain Zuko, we can contain the fire, and no one can get hurt.” he concluded proudly.

Katara sighed, unsure. “If you say so.” She felt conflicted, Zuko hadn’t shown them any ill intent whilst in their care, yet fire had damaged so much of her life, she didn’t know what to go with.

Toph almost pulled her hair out in frustration. “How can you guys not see he isn’t a threat?! He won’t harm you if you don’t prod him Snoozles. He’s like a viper-bat with no venom, keep poking at it and it is bound to snap back, but leave it be and it will leave you to yourself also.”

Sokka cut in sharply: “But we need to contain him, Toph. Perhaps you could make him...” he paused, trying to find the right words, without making the others start up again “a… shelter, like what you have,” he ended sheepishly. 

If blind looks could kill, Sokka would be up to his neck in earth. But like rocks tumbling down a cliffside, the hostile glare receded, the waves of Toph’s anger disappearing into the lake of noble indifference, thankfully diffusing the situation for now.

With that resolved, the Gaang all headed towards their respective beds, except Toph, who sat waiting for Zuko to return. No one questioned it, they were too worn out from the confrontation. Some time passed and Toph wondered if Zuko was ever going to come back, but just as her eyes were drooping, the Prince returned. His clothes were dripping wet, drops leaving a distinct shape in the dust.

“Took you long enough Sparky!” she yawned out.

“Sorry… I… needed some time to myself.” Zuko started, looking anywhere but at her. He seemed cautious, his feet twitching like he was about to take flight, as if he thought he'd say something that might set her off, like Sokka before.

“Oh hush it Sparks, Snoozles had it coming, someone needed to tell him what’s what. If it’s any consolation, the rest of the group gave him a good telling off.” Toph replied, a touch of her fiery snark burning through her weary state. 

“Oh, before I forget, this is yours now,” she remarked as she tiredly shoved up a loose shelter for Zuko.

“Th...Thanks Toph,” he murmured, while gathering up his stuff from beside Appa before he stooped into his new shelter. As he lay down to sleep, he could hear Toph murmur something. He wanted to ask her what, but she was already retreating towards her own tent.

00000

“You’re welcome, Sparky. You know,... for a Fire Prince, he ain’t half bad.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 21/02/21:  
> ML: Hey everyone, new and old, welcome to the (revised) chapter 5. Definitely good to come back to this, though thankfully it didn’t need too much twiddling. Here is where we started to break down the typical threads, i.e. Katara hating on Zuko. Zuko here hasn’t betrayed Katara in the same way as when most people pick up the narrative of the Gaang meeting Zuko, so it is refreshing to write Sokka, the protective pseudo tribal chief trying to protect his tribe. Unfortunately, he moves to aggression, rather than diplomacy. I felt that this is a welcome flip to the typical interactions to the way that Zuko would typically be the aggressor prior to this point in show canon. Otherwise, we begin to see the growing shades of grey for Katara. She may be angry at Zuko for what he is, but she is starting to see the human underneath, which gives us a lot to play around with. Toph/Zuko too are always fun to write, though at this point Zuko isn’t much of a talker. And then Aang. Bless the poor lad, he tries to help, but he is just too innocent for the world currently, I hope that you will see him begin to evolve as we progress through the story. Next up, some important notes of the challenge the group faces having Zuko in camp, and the beginnings of understandings are made.
> 
> Ystävä: Hi from my side also. Yeah, this was definitely an interesting chapter to come back to, as it was the first chapter I officially called ML co-author. Sokka does have a bit of a tricky position in our fic, so a few more words on him from both writing as well as character perspective. Why we chose to portray Sokka as aggressive rather than diplomatic has several reasons. Sokka is 15 years old, the only non-bender, and he comes from a culture where his age and gender would put him into a position of responsibility. Coupled with the fact his father has saddled him with protecting the tribe while Hakoda is off in the war. Sokka simply sees what he is doing as looking out for the group from the ‘big bad firebender’. Zuko’s known for having a temper and Sokka’s strategy does give him the ‘results’ he was looking for… on the surface.  
> The second reason was that we did want to show Zuko’s triggers and Sokka fits the bill in more than just the way he acts.  
> Hope you enjoyed the chapter and will let us know what you think :)
> 
> \------------------------------------------ADDED NOTE---------------------------------------------  
> Hey guys, we accidently forgot to mention this above, but (inspired by Zenza's approach in another fic, but we were considering making a discord for the fic,  
> If you guys are up for this, let us know and on the next update we can post up a link to a discord server. Stay well and stay safe  
> ML8991 and Ystävä.


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